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Bimbo Weeps:

 I’m sittin’ alone in the moonlight,
At the Heartbreak Hotel Café,
Abandoned by women and men;
And here’s all I have to say:

“I’ll never eat garlic nor onions again —
Not till my dying day —
They’ve driven my possible friends away,
Kept romance and intimacy at bay!”
By Stephany Spencer

Bimbo Notes:

“One’s a plenty, two’s a crowd,
Three on the sidewalk is not allowed.”
Anonymous
(But have you ever noticed in “Big Love” they might
Be doing it behind your back — or closed doors?
Step on a crack and try to keep track!)
Stephany Spencer

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Bimbo Speaketh

Please, God, don’t let me be a fruitcake this Christmas;
I don’t want to be eaten by one either!
Stephany Spencer

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Online Dating

When it comes to online dating,
If  you’re lookin’ for a mating,
The odds are good
That the goods are odd;
So “wrots of wruck” with your mate-baiting!
I won’t be holding my bag awaiting.
Stephany Spencer

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  Longing for a Soulmate

I used to long for a Soulmate,
But I don’t long anymore,
‘Cause I damn well know in my core
Who’d get stuck picking up after him …
Plus a whole lot more!

For that same reason,
In my “Golden-Sage” season,
I no longer dream of Mr. Wright
Nor a shining-armored knight;
I’ve learned they’re all fairytales –
No one’s coming to save me;
For sure, no horny, hairy males!
And Stupid-Cupid least of all:
Cupid’s but Libido and Nature
Having a ball.

At long last, I’ve come to see
My soulmate’s the other half of me;
And it’s well that this should be.
So I’ll leave my fate to God,
And what will be, we’ll see!
Stephany Spencer

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Me, Myself, and I
Sittin’ alone in the moonlight,
I heard a lonesome cry;
It must have come from within;
There was only me, myself, and I!

Then I chanced to ask it,”Why? Why?!”
Spoke the voice in soft reply:
“’Because, wherefore, and therefore; That’s why!”

So I gathered myself up with a sigh,
To face the great by-and-by, and cry,
Because, in reality, there could only be
Lonely me, myself, and I.
By Stephany Spencer
(Written at age 14)              

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Bimbo Speaks:
“Love may be blind,
but jealousy and envy ain’t!
They sport wide-angled telescopic vision
with binocular hindsight!”
Stephany Spencer

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“Jealousy breeds poor sight;
Envy sports telescopic sight!”
Stephany Spencer

Says Bimbo:
“Who cares if four-inch heels
Give you bunions,
Backaches, ‘n’ achin’ feet?

What’s important is yer legs
Look long ‘n’ sleek;
Yer ankles slim ‘n’ petite!”
Stephany Spencer

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 Bimbo Says: 

“There’s a vast amount of undeveloped territory
just below my fancy hat ‘n’ hairdo —
 right betwixt me ears two!”
Stephany Spencer

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The Bimbo Class
My claim-to-fame is shoppin’,
‘Cause most parts of me
Are perfect and hoppin’;
So if it’s all the same to you,
I’ll keep right on a-boppin’
In my fancy hat ’n’ updo–
Let the intellectuals study it,
If they want to —
And the undeveloped matter
Under it too!

But in “Alice, Through the Lookin’ Glass,”
It didn’t matter where
The Mad Hatter had ‘er — nor ‘er class;
An’ it doesn’t matter a hair
To the hare, either, what I do —
So don’t be a “hare-up-my-ass”!
(Well, did you expect better
Of the Bimbo class?!)
Stephany Spencer

A Bimbo-Breakthrough:
Old age ain’t for sissies …
And neither is bein’ a woman!
 Stephany Spencer