Esther LeBaron & Floyd Spencer:
Fights, Plights, and Physical Punishment
Silence only benefits the oppressor.Brenda’s Journey:
Those who love truth, and want to help victims,
are open to discussion and want to hear
how to help better.”
Using Survivor’s Trauma–
Help Don’t Harm
I left off in “Pt 38-A” saying:
That’s how our social life went;
That’s how my lonely youth was spent.
I’m glad Ma could circumvent
Our hearing parental
Discontent and argument.
But it doesn’t mean she didn’t constantly get me in trouble with King Pa — ’cause she did! Sicking him onto me, the family scapegoat, was Ma’s favorite defensive/combat sport, by the time I was fourteen. It won her points; got pissed Pa– Patriarchal Pap–off her back, onto mine in two seconds.
E.g.: If King Dad came home from work in the evening tired and hungry, to find his meal not cooked; the house dirty, Queen Ma would quickly complain:
“Well, Beulah wouldn’t help me!” Even though I had spent the whole day out in the hot sun, alone, scrubbing the family wash on a washboard–while she and the rest of the kids followed their whims, entertained friends; whatever.
Another way Ma helped keep peace in the family and “Patriarchal Pap” off her back was never to intervene in his “authority”–such as when he was meting out punishment; ie, physical and mental abuse upon his children.
Wish she had protected us in that way, too. Perhaps she didn’t know what to do. When it came to men’s “rights” and how men disciplined children, Ma imitated what she saw and was taught when she was growing up.
Be that what it may, if she interfered with Patriarch Pa’s disciplining, Ma could’ve been in for a beating in her back bedroom, behind closed doors–one reason she never overstepped her bounds by questioning, disobeying, or undermining anything Patriarchal Pappy did or said.
But, our parents’ personal problems and disagreements were never discussed in front of us kids — one thing Mama was able to control. Because she knew she did not want her children to suffer the painful drama she and her siblings endured due to their parents’ frequent terrible fights and arguments.
Other than that, Mother, ever living in her dreamworld, had but good and glorious things to say about her “One Mighty and Strong” perfect pa and ma, her wonderful, heavenly childhood; and her Godly, Saintly upbringing.
She created the world she wanted to live in. To her credit, Mother never once had a bad thing to say about her parents or family–only good things!
Eg., She told me she was so good, and so loved by her (often-absent) pa, he only gave her one beating her whole life. “And I deserved it,” she proclaimed. She wouldn’t divulge what she did that deserved her Patriarchal Pa’s belt.
Was she implying that I, however,
did deserve the beatings King Daddy gave me?
Or was she off in La-la-Land,
Wading up to ‘er eyeballs
I only know,
here on earth below,
in her “real” world of wonderment,
and Patriarchal Government,
her hubby King Daddy
was head of his family;
physical punishment the norm;
her folks from the old country;
and she born and bread on fanatic, patriarchal,
“profit” Joe-Smith-Brig-Young beliefs and bylaws–
including female subjugation.
* See ya in the next blog.
Thanks for stopping by!
~ Stephany Spencer-LeBaron
(Continued August 22, 2019, “Pt 35 a–38 c: More LeBaron-Spencer Family History”)