Pt 40-E:
Esther LeBaron Spencer:
Ma, Pa, Me, and Pitfalls of Polygamy

My beautiful mother Esther LeBaron Spencer, second row, right, in front of our rock house; being arrested during 1953 Short Creek Raid; her then seven kids at front; another in her belly past due.

Abraham Lincoln
ran on the Republican Platform
of ending the
“twin relics of barbarism:
slavery and polygamy.

Mormon Think

I left off in the previous blog asking: How could I not think my parents were perfect? Children don’t question what their parents tell them; Mother regularly told us she and Daddy were the two best people in the world—too perfect to have ANY sins or shortcomings.

Nevertheless, Mom was too jealous to allow Dad a plural wife; they remained monogamous Mormon Fundies throughout their twenty-two-year marriage.

Even so, they expected their kids to be polygamic spouses—though they, my progenitors, NEVER set us the example of living polygamy, their religion’s highest law; i.e., “God’s HIGHEST law: celestial marriage”/polygyny.

Adding more smoke and mirrors to this funny Mormon Fundy “Do what I say, not what I do” befuddling double talk, double-bind [1], double-blind dogma (i.e., cognitive dissonance) [2] is:

Blind followers love to look up to “perfect” people….such as my parents (LOL!)—love to have idols/examples they can strive to become like….if only they, too, can be so perfect….some day.

It gives them something special to live for, look forward to, and be inspired by when the going gets rougher; the going always rough—always tough in Plyg Fundy families.

So the vicious cycle of deceit and irrationality continues on in the world of illusive perfectionism; an important ingrediant of fundamentalism.

It follows, then, that it’s easy for perfectionistic, Fundamentalist parents to fall into the trap of expecting their kids to do things they, themselves, can’t do—can’t do because they don’t recognize nor admit they have a dark side/a shadow side [2] — an ingrediant of narcissism, by the way. [3]

But, more than this, I think my parents were simply taking the easier way out by mindlessly following the Prophet’s/”profit’s” admonitions.

If they’d been using common sense and good reason— including having the strength and integrity to be honest with themselves—rather than duped followers who’d escaped into a fantasy world ….
because the stoic, foot washing, fanatic life their religion expected them to live was impossible and deplorable ….
they would’ve gotten out of Mormon fundamentalism long before they got their kids into it!

Thanks for visiting!
Thanks for feedback.
~Stephany Spencer-LeBaron

  1. double bind is a dilemma in communication in which an individual (or group) receives two or more conflicting messages, with one negating the other. … The double bind occurs when the person cannot confront the inherent dilemma, and therefore can neither resolve it nor opt out of the situation.
  2. cog·ni·tive dis·so·nance; noun (PSYCHOLOGY):
    The state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes; especially as relates to behavioral decisions and attitude change.

3. › Shadow-Effect-Illuminating-Hidden-Power

The Shadow Effect: Illuminating the Hidden Power of Your True Self Paperback – May 3, 2011. … New York Times bestselling authors and internationally acclaimed leaders in the field of new thought, Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford, and Marianne Williamson have joined together to share their knowledge on one of the most crucial obstacles to happiness we face—the shadow.

These three luminaries, each with a signature approach, bring to light the parts of ourselves we deny but that still direct our life. The result is a practical and profound journey to wholeness. 

Inside you will discover how to:

 1- Make peace with yourself, others, and the world
2- Bring light to the parts of yourself that have the power to transform your life
3- Find the courage to let go of all that holds you back
4- Reconnect with the person you were meant to be and the life you were meant to live

The Secret Language of Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths: How Abusers Manipulate and Traumatize Their Victims – The Minds Journal
Link · The Minds Journal 

(Continued Oct 10, 2019, “Pt 39–40-E: Esther LeBaron Spencer: Ma, Pa, Me, and Pitfalls of Polygamy”)

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