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Bimbo Weeps:

 I’m sittin’ alone in the moonlight,
At the Heartbreak Hotel Café,
Abandoned by women and men;
And here’s all I have to say:

“I’ll never eat garlic nor onions again —
Not till my dying day —
They’ve driven my possible friends away;
Kept romance and intimacy at bay!”
By Stephany Spencer

Bimbo Notes:

“One’s a plenty, two’s a crowd,
Three on the sidewalk is not allowed.”
Anonymous
(But have you ever noticed in “Big Love” they might
Be doing it behind your back — or closed doors?
Step on a crack and try to keep track!)
Stephany Spencer

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Bimbo Speaketh

Please, God, don’t let me be a fruitcake this Christmas.
I don’t want to be eaten by one either!
Stephany Spencer

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Online Dating

When it comes to online dating,
If  you’re lookin’ for a mating,
The odds are good
The goods are odd.
So “wrots of wruck”
With your mate-baiting …
I won’t be holding my bag waiting.
Stephany Spencer

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  Longing for a Soulmate

I used to long for a Soulmate,
But I don’t long anymore.
I now know to the core
Who’d get stuck with the chore
Of taking care of him …
And a whole lot more!

For the same reason,
In my “Saging” season,
I don’t dream of Mr. Wright,
Nor a shining-armored knight.
I’ve learned they’re fairytales.

No one’s coming to save me …
No horny, hairy males …
 Stupid-Cupid least of all.
He’s but Libido and Nature
Having a ball.

I’ve finally come to see
My soulmate’s the other half of me.
It’s well that this should be.
So I’ll leave my fate to God;
What will be, we’ll see!
Stephany Spencer

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Me, Myself, and I

Sittin’ alone in the moonlight,
I heard a lonesome cry.
It must have come from within;
There was but me, myself, and I.

I chanced to ask it,”Why … Why?”
Spoke the voice in soft reply,
“’Wherefore and therefore. That’s why.”

Getting up with a sigh
To face the by-and-by
I began to cry.
I could see
There could only be
Me, myself, and I.

By Stephany Spencer
(Written at age 14)              

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Bimbo Speaks:
“Love may be blind,
But jealousy and envy ain’t.
They’ve got telescopic vision
With binocular hindsight.”
Stephany Spencer

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“Jealousy breeds telescopic sight;
Envy wide-angled hindsight.“
Stephany Spencer

Says Bimbo:
“Who cares if four-inch heels
Give you bunions,
Backaches, ‘n’ achin’ feet?

What’s important is yer legs
Look long ‘n’ sleek;
Yer ankles slim ‘n’ petite!”
Stephany Spencer

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 Bimbo Says: 

“There’s a vast amount of undeveloped territory
just below my fancy hat ‘n’ hairdo —
 right betwixt me ears two!”
Stephany Spencer

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The Bimbo Class
My claim-to-fame is shoppin’
Because parts of me
Are perfectly hoppin.’

If it’s all the same to you,
I’ll keep on a-boppin’
In my fancy hat ’n’ updo.
Let the intellectuals study it,
If they want to …
The undeveloped matter
Under it too!

To “Alice, Through the Lookin’ Glass,”
It didn’t matter
Where The Mad Hatter had ‘er
Nor ‘er class.

An’ it doesn’t matter a hair
To the hare what I do.
So don’t be a “hare-up-my-ass”!
(Well, did you expect better
From the Bimbo class?!)
Stephany Spencer

A Bimbo-Breakthrough:
Old age ain’t for sissies;
Neither is being a woman.
 Stephany Spencer