Pt 40-A:
Ma, Pa, Me, and
Pitfalls of Polygamy
“When a task is once begun,
A typical Perfectionistic
Never leave it till it’s done;
Be the labor great or small,
Do it well or not at all.”
adage I grew up with
In blog, “Pt 39: Ma, Pa, Me, and Pitfalls of Polygamy,” I left off with: Mormons must work their way into heaven. “By your works, you are saved.” Jesus didn’t die for their sins!
Therefore, my LeBaron grandparents put pressure on their children to be perfect/do good works; as if the Mormon religion didn’t already put enough pressure on its members.
But compounding this perfectionism scenario was growing up in the Mormon colonies in old Mexico where the prejudice and marginalization of Momma’s family was a constant.
It seems to me, the Mexico-LeBaron children felt undue pressure to be other than themselves in order to be acceptable; because they were ostracized and treated as “not good enough.”
A Mexico-LeBaron oficionado/fan recently told me, “Some Mormons in Colonia Juarez were envious of the Mexico-LeBarons: They had more brains, looks, and talents than any one family ought to have.”
She continued, “Some Mormons resented this. They thought they, being mainstream Mormon, were above the LeBarons — and should, therefore, be better than/more gifted than the “apostate” LeBaron family.”
I believe she has a point there. But another factor figuring into the marginalization of the Mexico-LeBarons is many people can’t handle Creatives. They feel threatened by people who don’t do everything according to the status quo; who come up with “all the good ideas.”
Maybe the LeBarons didn’t realize part of the reason they were sidelined and treated like they were bad was because some envious and recentful people were downsizing them; using extreme measures, including gaslighting. [1]
It’s also possible envious persons projected their guilt and faults onto this heavily maligned, scapegoated, but amazingly gifted family.
In other words, they victimized the victims. I’m not saying the Mexico-LeBaron’s were perfect — just perfect targets for some small-town, small-minded people.
The downside:
Children mirror how they are seen. Other peoples’ feelings and attitudes toward them reflect back on them; as if they are looking into a mirror.
They learn to see themselves as others see them; i.e., through others’ eyes: When they look into peoples’ eyes, they come to see themselves by what is reflected/mirrored back to them from other people.
Be that what it may, there’s no question the Mexico-LeBarons were scapegoats for some sick people. Because only sick people, families, and societies need scapegoats.
Thanks for visiting.
Now, till next time, be of good cheer;
Summer is smiling here!
~Stephany Spencer-LeBaron
(Continued Sept. 12, 2019, “Pt 40-B: Esther LeBaron Spencer: Ma, Pa, Me, and Pitfalls of Polygamy “)
[1] — gas·light/ˈɡaslīt/Learn to pronounce;
verb, gerund, or present participle: gaslighting
1- Manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity: E.g., “In the first episode, Karen Valentine is being gaslighted by her husband”
NOTE:
The following is Sound Choices Coalition Director Angela Kelly’s super expose on the upcoming polygamy reform bill:
(I have committed it to memory, to better confront those polygamists, et Al, doing their best to legalize polygamy, a system they were raised in; so believe they will go to hell if they don’t live it.
(Read 132nd section of the D & C as a reminder of why Mormons lived Polygamy– and Mormon fundamentalists continue to live it–and continue to try to get it legalized!):
Angela Kelly — August 21 at 7:07 AM:
If your firm belief on polygamy is based off the views presented in one particular podcast, ( which I have also listened to so I’m completely aware of the views and opinions expressed in there) – may I suggest you look at this from more than just one side of the issue?
Canada studied the issue for two years; and after 4 months of expert testimony–comprising more than 90 reports examining the issue from all sides — anthropology, psychology, sociology, law, economics, history, and theology–the more than 300-page decision by their Supreme Court is now considered the most comprehensive study done on polygamy in the world. You can find it by doing a quick Google search. “Polygamy reference case Canada 2011)
The decision is significant, not only with regard to polygamy, but also for the way it addresses the issues related to the scope of religious freedom and the definition of family relationships.
Canada is considered one of the most liberal countries in the world. They were fourth in the world to legalize gay marriage and some forms of bestiality were legal until just this year.
Many of the Attorney’s involved could not have foreseen their liberal views changing so drastically as to keep polygamy a crime.
The evidence contained within the case is staggering. I would also suggest that decriminalization is not something that can be approached as a harmless social experiment.
It’s a nice idea that the harms that go hand-in-hand with the practice of polygamy could be addressed if only the practice would be brought into the sunlight through decriminalization. But there is no reason to believe ( from the evidence) that this would happen.
Polygamy needs insularity to hide the abuse that it requires to sustain itself through generations. It requires insularity to shield the methods of control and indoctrination that will guarantee the next generation of willing child brides.
The research shows that polygamy’s harm to society includes the critical fact that a great many of its individual harms are not specific to any particular religious, cultural or regional context.
They can be generalized and expected to occur wherever polygamy exists. And I would look at Israel:
In January 2017 their government passed an $825 million plan–part of which included the creation of a government committee to eradicate polygamy and help the women and children who are hurt by it.
The 315-page report specifies 84 recommendations spanning law-enforcement, education, health and welfare reform —
All in response to Israel’s most disenfranchised population of Bedouin, who are ravaged by this practice of polygamy.
You don’t have countries spending millions of dollars to eradicate the practice, to just interfere with consenting adults sexual practices and family arrangements…The comprehensive evidence speaks for itself.
Now it’s up to you to widen the lens through which you form your opinion. #PolygaMeToo
STEPHANY SPENCER: 