In Mexico, Down Past the Rio Grande
by Stephany Spencer-LeBaron
Song Version:
1— In Mexico, down past the Rio Grande,
I buried my diaries in the desert sand;
Now they lie lost in a foreign land —
Lost in LeBaron when I fled the clan.
Buried my poems in the desert’s brew too.
They now sleep in sandstorms that blew.
With each new windstorm sands accrue,
So adios, muse babies, goodbye, and adieu!
2— You lie in the land where I was born and grew,
There in LeBaron, the home I once knew.
I couldn’t find you when I fled, then flew.
So part of me’s left now buried in you.
Buried where my past lies buried and dead,
Hidden with my heart that broke when I fled,
Knowing all I’d believed had to be shed;
And I had to flee ensuing bloodshed.
3— But part of me’s still in my hometown,
Buried in Chihuahua, Mexico’s ground;
But I can’t go back, can’t traverse the Rio Grande –
The river’s too wide so I stay on dry land.
I remain in my world on this other side,
But so many lonely rivers I’ve cried;
Though most of my tears have finally dried,
There’re many old rivers still flowing inside.
4- Too many rivers twixt me and those I know,
Gulfs too wide since I let them go;
Yet part of me lies there in Mexico,
Down past the Rio Grande I love so.
Divided and torn by the Rio Grande
Flowing between me and LeBaron land,
I wonder, is half my heart buried there,
In Mexico, down past the Rio Grande?
NOTE:
The Following Are Earlier Versions of Above Poem:
In Mexico, down past the Rio Grande,
I buried my diaries in the desert sand.
Now they lie lost in a foreign land –
Lost in LeBaron when I fled the clan.
Buried my poems in the desert’s brew too.
They now sleep in sandstorms that blew.
With each new windstorm, sands accrue;
So adios, muse babies, goodbye, and adieu!
You lie in the land where I was born and grew —
There, in LeBaron, the home I once knew;
I couldn’t find you when I fled then flew,
So part of me’s left now buried in you.
It’s buried where my past lies buried and dead,
Hidden with my heart that broke when I fled,
Knowing all I’d believed had to be shed;
And I had to flee ensuing bloodshed.
Still, I long for my friends and family too,
Who could not see things from my point of view;
Nor would they allow me my own voice —
They didn’t respect the freedom of choice.
Now in an abyss I traverse this earth,
Looking for meaning to renew my life’s worth;
Looking for Mother’s long-gone mirth,
Though she now sleeps in Mexican Earth.
So part of me’s buried in Mexico –
The part I lost when I left long ago.
It’s back where my heart lies buried alive,
Back where my past took a nose dive.
Perhaps it’s lying in my hometown,
Buried in Chihuahua, Mexico’s ground;
But I can’t go back — can’t traverse the Rio Grande.
The river’s too wide so I stay on dry land.
I remain in my world on this other side,
But so many lonely rivers I have cried;
Though most of my tears have finally dried,
There’re many old rivers still flowing inside.
Too many rivers twixt me and those I know,
Gulfs too wide since I let them go.
Still part of me lies there in Mexico,
Down past the Rio Grande I love so.
Divided and torn by the Rio Grande
Flowing between me and LeBaron land,
I wonder, is half my heart buried there,
In Mexico, down past the Rio Grande?
~By Stephany Spencer-LeBaron
*NOTE:
The above poem is the result of major surgery on my original poem –
I cut out over half its verses.
Though painful, the surgery was successful.
Below is a less abridged version:
In Mexico, Down Past the Rio Grande,
I buried my diaries in the desert sand.
Now they lie lost in a foreign land –
Lost in LeBaron when I fled the clan.
Buried my poetry in the desert’s brew too.
It’s now lost in sandstorms that blew.
With each windstorm, more sands accrue,
So adios, muse babies, goodbye, and adieu!
You lie where I was born and grew,
There in LeBaron, the home I once knew.
I couldn’t find you when I fled then flew;
So part of me’s left now buried in you.
Slowly the tears trickle, two by two,
Down my cheekbones like drops of dew,
Ever homesick but can’t ties renew.
Adios to my past — adios and adieu.
When will my loneliness ever end?
When will this pain fade away, my friend?
Where are my Journals and the poems I penned,
Then buried deep to protect them back then?
They’re buried where my past lies buried and dead,
Hidden with my heart that broke when I fled
‘Cause all I’d believed in had to be shed;
And I had to flee approaching bloodshed.
Now I long for family and friends too,
Who could not see things from my point of view.
Nor would they allow me my own voice –
They didn’t respect the freedom of choice.
Still, I long for my life that was torn in two –
The parts that split when I fled and flew,
So I could find life in the US anew,
Follow my dreams, and hopes renew.
Now in an abyss I traverse the earth,
Looking for meaning to renew life’s worth;
Looking for Mother’s long-gone mirth,
Though she now sleeps in Mexican earth.
No sooner did I find life and rebirth,
Than along came the ravages of aging and dearth,
Bouncing and banging at my backdoor,
Backing me downhill more and more.
But part of me died many years ago,
That part I lost when I fled Mexico.
It’s back where my heart lies buried alive;
Back where my past took a nose dive.
Part of my heart’s in my hometown,
Buried in Chihuahua, Mexico’s ground.
But I can’t go back, can’t traverse the Rio Grande.
The river’s too wide so I stay on dry land.
I remain in my world on this other side;
Yet so many lonely rivers I have cried.
Though most of my tears have finally dried,
There’re many old rivers still flowing inside.
Too many rivers twixt me and those I know,
Gulfs too wide since I let them go.
Still a part of me’s buried in Mexico,
Down past the Rio Grande I love so.
Part of me’s there, though put to the test,
Back where many old memories rest;
Part’s with my past and part’s here with me,
Longing for home, where’er home may be.
Divided and torn by the Rio Grande
Flowing between me and LeBaron Land.
I wonder, is half my heart buried there,
In Mexico, down past the Rio Grande?
~By Stephany Spencer-LeBaron
Dena McLean It’s great that you can sing and play an instrument all in front of an audience. It’s not easy.
Steph Spencer Thanks for your feedback, Dena. Yes, you are right when you comment that it’s not easy to perform in front of a live audience. One Actor put it this way: “To be a Performer is to scare yourself to death for the rest of your life.” Because almost always, at least one thing unexpected happens.
For example, this time the Mic setup at the California Writers Club was not amenable to me and my guitar, so I was unable to have my written lyrics in front of me in case my mind went blank. I had to walk over to the podium when I needed to double check the next verse I was to sing.
Of course, that didn’t go over so well in the video. But now I know I need to always take my music stand along wherever I go to perform — just in case the setup is different from when I performed there the month before.
But, once again, it proves what speakers and other performers already know: No matter how many times you perform, you always learn at least one new thing with each and every performance.
I was not proud of how the video came out, either, but I posted it anyway, for practice, and so people could hear the music that goes with my lyrics posted above, “In Mexico, Down Past the Rio Grande:”
The lighting was poor and the video should have been done closer up. In the end, it all made my dark apparel look dismal. It’s hard to get anybody, on the spot, to know how to take a good video with my iPhone! But with this experience, I now know, next time, to look for a better amateur photographer, LOL!
STEPHANY SPENCER: 