Bio Ballad in Verse for Better or Worse
by Stephany Spencer-LeBaron

I was born some time ago
Away out in the sticks
In Mexico’s Rocky Mountain Range
In 1946.

Was raised in Mormon Fundy cults
Where self-righteous hicks
Thought it sinful
With the world to mix.

Like egotistical fools
In fanatic backwoods schools,
We thought ourselves
God’s holy handful –
His Saints and Chosen People.

But we were backward bigots –
Extremists and hypocrites.
Fanatics full of ignorance,
False pride and narcissism,
We fed on fear,
Self-denial and masochism.

You can lead a horse to water
But can’t make it think.
Same goes for blind followers
Being misled to Hell’s brink.

If they can’t lift their blinders
And use their God-given head,
They’re not people,
But brainwashed sheeple instead.

That said, in six years,
Ma’d born seven girls in a row.
When we went walking down the street,
My what a show!

By the time I turned twelve,
She’d born kid number eleven;
Plygs believe birth control
Will keep them out of heaven!

By the time I was fourteen,
We were siblings twelve.
For everything I ever got
I had to dig and delve.

As I turned twenty,
And about fit to go under,
Synchronicity’s Serendipity
Wrought a miraculous wonder:

Big bolts of thunder
Suddenly tossed me asunder
Into “the wicked world.”
There my new life unfurled!

Now on the outside looking in
At those “Saints” knee-deep in sin,
I gaze at them and grin,
Thanking God He helped me win
A chance to begin again.
And gave me my own voice
And freedom of choice,
After hearing my cries
To self-actualize.

I’m so blessed I escaped that cult
And left the hell behind
To join “the wicked world,”
A better life to find.

Every year’s been better
Since I fled that bitter bind.
I’ve found in this wide world
A more compassionate kind;
People better-educated,
Charitable and refined.

So thank you, wonderful world.
How you shine!
Thanks for your excellence,
New friends of mine.
God bless you all,
Kind Humankind!

Bio Ballad of a Cult Survivor:
My Bio in Verse, for Better or Worse

Bio Ballad of a Cult Survivor:
My Bio in Verse for Better or Worse
(Lyrics and music by Stephany Spencer-LeBaron)

1- I was born some time ago,
Away out in the sticks,
In a Mormon cult in Mexico
In nineteen forty-six.

By the time I was eleven,
We were a family of twelve;
For everything I ever got
I had to dig and delve.

Dig and delve?
Yes, dig and delve!
For everything I ever got,
I had to dig and delve.

2- We hid among the hicks,
Created toys out of sticks,
But thought we were the best –
God’s blest zygotics.

‘Twas the only life I knew,
All the while I grew;
To pass God’s tests
Was what we were here to do.

CHORUS:
Oh, a hick,
A dad-gum polygamist hick!
Born into a cult,
“Plyg!” the ultimate insult.

But how was I to know
Someday I would grow
And leave it all behind,
This miserable life of woe.

Life of woe,
Oh, misery and woe!
So I left it all behind …
Let the fandom go.

3- A masochistic life
We all did sow.
It was the only world
I would ever know.

Till one day I did find
These people were all blind,
And sniffing after
Some false “Profit’s” behind!

5- So I fled that Fundy faith;
Left rigidity behind.
Into the world I went,
A whole new life to find.

I settled in LA,
And found a better way.
And now I am a Graduate
Of UCLA.

6- When I fled that stoic sect,
Didn’t know what in heck to expect;
Times were Herculean,
Money hard to get.

But I kept pressing on.
Though progress was slow,
‘Twas better than I got
In Old Mexico.

7- Now here I am today,
Living a much better way
Than the previous life
I once had to obey.

I’m grateful for each day,
And the good ole USA.
You’ve come a long way, Babe,
You sure could say.
I’m a cult survivor …
A thriver in every way!

 Pretty City Chic

Dearest friends and fans,
Please note:
This tongue-in-cheek
Song I wrote 
Isn’t finished
So I don’t gloat,
But pray my poem 
Won’t get your goat.

It’s late – Blog due “mañana;”
Check my song later on … uh 
You’ll find it “re-wrote.”
Needs work is my last quote.
But please enjoy what I wrote,
As I humorously emote:

Hey! I’m a Hack
Who’s written this hit
Called “Pretty City Chic”–
A Hee-ha Comedy Song –
A bit o’ Bio in Verse,
For Better or Worse,
With Truth ‘n’ Exaggeration
Interspersed:

They call me “Pretty City Chic.”
Hillbilly music is my shtick.
My Hillbilly ways are here to stick;
So you may as well git over it,
Join in ’n’ sing a bit
With Pretty City Chic.

Born in Mexican sticks
In 1946,
I’ve dual citizenship.
To add to my mix,
Folk and Classical music
Are among my shticks.

I’m an all-American-mongrel,
Apple-pie girl –
A Hines-57 mixed-up mutt
With apple pie stickin’ to my gut –
But Red-necked reactionaries ain’t my thing.
I’m here for music and to sing!

Yeah, I’m an All-American-Mexican,
Scots-Irish “Mick,”
With Welch ’n’ English,
So sure I’m a Brit …
Plus Norwegian, Swedish,
Danish, and Dutch;
French, German, Belgium,
Mohawk Indian and such.

If there’s no Tom Slick
Hidin’ in the pit,
Far as I know,
That’s about it.
Well that‘s my story
And I’m stickin’ to it!

Pa was a Veteran of World War I.
Those Vets were well-appreciated
For what they’d done!
He was an Artist, Creative –
Jack-of-all-trades;
Master of a few —
Good at so many things …
What couldn’t he do?

Ma was a Creative too,
Artist thru ’n’ thru –
Poet, Pianist, Painter … whew!
Loved talking religion,
Old or new,
Long as it agreed
With what she already “knew.”

She graduated with a BA
In Journalism too –
Quite an accomplishment
For Ma was sixty-two!

She ran me competition
For I was still in College too.
Ma’s motto was:
“Anything you can do,
I can do better;
I can do anything better than you!”
And she meant it too!

Refrain:
They call me Pretty City Chic,
But Hillbilly music is my shtick;
My Hillbilly ways are here to stick!
So you may as well git over it
And join in ‘n’ sing a bit
With Pretty City Chic.

Shit-kickin’ music is my shtick.
Well, that’s my story
And I’m shtickin’ to it:
I’m Pretty City Chic!

By Stephany Spencer-LeBaron

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NOTE: The following is an iPhone video of me on March 2017– age 71– performing at the California Writers Club the above song I wrote“Pretty City Chic”… before I “re-writ” some of it: