~ Pt 19-P: Esther LeBaron Spencer, Me, and More Perils of Polygamy 


My Memoir: Part 19-P — Esther LeBaron McDonald de Spencer — 
More Perils of Polygamy

bill & me, 2
17-year-old pregnant me with 27-year-old hubby Billy, 1963


“As I sifted through my memories,
my life came to me in bits and pieces,
often disconnected, just like my dreams.
Even normal memory has gaps,
but traumatic memory is even more discontinuous.
This is my story, which put me back together.”
Lost Boy
Brent W. Jeffs

Continuing where I left off  in “My Memoir: Esther LeBaron McDonald de Spencer– And More Perils of Polygamy — Part 19-O”:

As I said previously, my sixteen-year-old first cousin Jenny Lou LeBaron’s parents weren’t around to snoop into her private diaries. So my uncle Ervil LeBaron won the second time around in his efforts to get Homer Babbitt a child bride in exchange for a parcel of his land.

After getting Jenny married to Homer, he set to work to convince his bosom-buddy Billy Tucker to follow through with marrying me — the way my parents wanted him to.

But let’s back up a bit. At first, Ervil (one of Mother’s younger brothers) didn’t know what hit when he found I was suddenly being given away to Billy! Like how was he, Ervil, going to explain to Homer that, despite the revelations he got that I was supposed to marry him, Homer, his sister Esther (my mother) had her own “revelation” I was supposed to marry Billy/William Preston Tucker?

But, Ervil, as usual, wormed out of his having promised me to Homer by coming up with a new revelation for Homer as to whom he was to marry when the first “revelation” fell through.

Nonetheless, “Evil Ervil” was blindsided in his own shenanigans and misuse of power because he had no idea my parents knew about his secret attempt to marry me off to Homer Babbitt! I had no idea my parents knew about it either. I found that out far down the line — after I was already Bill’s concubine.

So, despite Ervil’s efforts to keep “the adversary” (the devil) from finding out about his plans, lo and behold, “the adversary” — in the name of my parents — did find out about the self-proclaimed-profit Ervil’s latest priestcraft! And in a most unexpected way. But Mother, with Daddy’s help, had me convinced it was “through a dream — a revelation” she “came to know” I was supposed to marry Bill Tucker!

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I had not told my parents what Uncle Ervil LeBaron (The Second Grand Head in the Priesthood of the LeBaron cult) was directing me to do, because Uncle Ervil, who practically stood as God to the people, had told me, “God doesn’t want your parents to know till you’re already married to Homer.”

“Let’s keep this a secret between me, you, and Homer,” Uncle Ervil had adamantly whispered to me. “We don’t want “the adversary” to get wind of what’s going on here and try to stop God’s work — God’s desire you marry Homer to help build up His kingdom on earth.” (Replace “God” with “Ervil.”)

(Continued in: “My Memoir Backstory: Esther LeBaron McDonald de Spencer — And More Perils of Polygamy — Part 19-Q”)

*Anna LeBaron, in the following video, is one of my many first cousins, and one of my Uncle Ervil LeBaron’s almost 60 children:


~ Do You Dig?


Do You Dig?
To find enlightenment
and better succeed in life’s journey
toward individuation and edification,
We might participate in
an inner archaeological dig.

Workshops to assist are found under
Soul-Searching Archaeology.
And are offered free at The College of Life
and Hard Knox University.
Do you “dig”?

These workshops include
a certain kind of digging
into our inner archaeological rigging
to discover, then uncover our intrinsic self —
our weaknesses, specialness, and gifts.

We may group these traits together
with other abilities, liabilities, and values
and map a course of action and direction
to weather our outer archaeological dig.

During our life’s exploration —
our search for purpose, meaning, and self —
We’ll often need to go within
to visit our inner “archaeological workshop”
and remove layers of crud,
sediment, and debris
as we make our way through
life’s University,
pursuing our goals to discover,
uncover, and achieve
self-fulfillment, individuation,
and self-actualization.

It’s responsibility and work,
an endeavor I’d like to shirk;
But seems a course worth taking,
a workshop in the making
for avid, tripping, soul-searching
archaeologists like me.
Do you “dig”?

~ Pt 19-O: Esther LeBaron Spencer, Me, and More Perils of Polygamy

My Memoir, Part 19-O: Esther LeBaron McDonald de Spencer — 
And More Perils of Polygamy

“Leaders who win the respect of others
are the ones who deliver more than they promise,
not the ones who promise more than they can deliver.”
Mark A. Clement

Taking up where I left off in my blog “My Memoir: Esther LeBaron  McDonald de Spencer — And More Perils of Polygamy — Part 19-N”:

It seems I got off onto a little bunny trail a few blogs back. So it’s high time we backtrack — get back to where Uncle Ervil and my parents were manipulating my love life in the name of polygamy to get me married off to “Billy” — back to where, in July of 1963, my sixteen-year-old-self was in the process of being pawned off in a prearranged marriage to ten-years-my-senior William Preston Tucker (leader of the infamous French missionaries excommunicated from the LDS/ Mormon church around 1958).

Since Uncle Ervil wasn’t able to do anything about his sister/my mom throwing a jackhammer into his plans to trade me to Homer Babbit for land, Ervil manipulated another of his nieces into marrying Babbit in my place.

Yes, smooth-talking Uncle Ervil soon had one of his brother Wesley’s daughters, my red-haired sixteen-year-old cousin Jenny Lou LeBaron married to Homer. Poor Jenny Lou! At the time, she was only visiting the LeBaron colony. But visiting the LeBaron colony was dangerous. She ended up homesteading as forty-three-year-old Babbit’s polygamous bride. Her parents weren’t by her side to protect her from her uncle Ervil’s revelations and manipulations!

My parents “protected” me by betraying me! They had raised me to believe I could trust them impeccably because they were Saints. But they were frauds. For years, they regularly snuck into and read my private diaries, unbeknownst to me that this was going on. Then discussed among themselves my thoughts and business meant for my eyes only. (I found this out only many years after-the-fact.)

Thus, they not only knew every personal thought that went on in my adolescent brain. (No wonder they had become so down on me!) But also, inadvertently, during their daily entertainment, learned of Ervil’s devious plans to marry me to Homer Babbit behind their backs!

That’s how my parents got the bright/”bride” idea to turn around, themselves, and manipulate my love-life and who I was to marry! They boggled Ervil’s plans to barter me to Babbit, by replacing them with their own plans to barter me to Bill.

After all, I had written in my journal, “Bill Tucker is the man I’m really in love with, not Homer!” However, there was a selfish method to my parents’ madness: It brought far more prestige to them to have me married to Bill rather than to Babbit. I don’t know which was worse for me in the end! (I was so in love with Bill but he shattered ‘n’ battered me. Babbit would’ve built me up, appreciated and loved me.)

Since Jenny’s parents weren’t around to snoop into her diaries, Ervil won the second time around. He got Jenny married to Homer in a heartbeat. Then set to work to convince his bosom-buddy Billy to comply with my parents’ wishes that he marry me.

(Ervil had quickly seen how Bill’s marrying me would work for him. For one thing, Homer wouldn’t wonder why I hadn’t ended up marrying him after all Ervil’s wheelings and dealings with him!)

(Continued in: “My Memoir: Esther LeBaron McDonald de Spencer — And More Perils of Polygamy — Part 19-P”)

Excellent expose by renowned speaker Steven Hassan, author of “Combatting Cult Mind Control,” and leader in recognizing brainwashing and mind control techniques.



















~ My Review of “Zelph on the Shelf: Mormons, Ex-Mormons, and Censorship Culture”

Flora Jessop, Church of lies

I just discovered a most valuable and wonderful Website, “Zelph on the Shelf: Mormons, Ex-Mormons, and Censorship Culture.” I read part of it. So very much look forward to reading more when I have time.

Although I presently believe we are spiritual beings having a physical experience — in other words, I am no longer a Social-Scientific-Thinker — no longer atheist/ agnostic — Nevertheless, Zelph on the Shelf,” is, in many ways, right up my alley: It’s loaded with super material and input that is brilliant, thought-provoking, informative, well-written, well-documented, and most intelligently presented.

If you are not familiar with this Website, do check it out at ZelphontheShelf.com.

Thank you, “Zelph on the Shelf” for your excellent Website that is helping recovering Mormons like me find camaraderie, answers, and resolve. Yes, thank you so much for the conscientious, humanistic, all-important work you are doing. I love you! ~ Steph