Pt 25: My Mama Esther LeBaron Spencer, Pa, Me ‘n’ Polygamy

 Pt 25: My Mama Esther LeBaron Spencer, Pa, Me, ‘n’ Polygamy

dad-ma-9-kids-1
Ma, Pa, Me, and 8 of my (by the time of this Pic) 9 siblings

Never complain about
what your parents couldn’t give you.
It was probably all they had.”
“Strong Mind”



I left off on “Pt 24: My Mama Esther LeBaron Spencer, Pa, Me, ‘n’ Polygamy.”

Let’s change the topic a bit and go back to when I was twelve and we inquisitive LeBaron-Spencer siblings — 11 of us by then — were once more huddled around our loving, peaceful parents in the living room. Those who could manage to get there first were sitting on the colorful rag-rug Mama had made and spread out in front of our warm fireplace hearth Daddy designed and built.

The periphery of the fireplace was artfully decorated with variegated shades of vermilion petrified-wood — rock-work laid by my own father’s skilled-artisan hands. It was an eye-catching splendor. I loved to study the designs while we sat there listening to our parents’ religious lessons.

It was Family Home Evening again — our Monday-night Mormon family get-together my parents held sporadically. As was customary in our family during these times, we older children were taking advantage of the time together with our seemingly Godlike mom and pop to pump them for information about their past. After we’d heard about how they met and married, I couldn’t help but interject the all-important question:  “Mama, were you a virgin when you married Daddy?”

I don’t know what prompted me to ask such a question. I should’ve “known” Mama was a virgin, given how she so strictly instilled within us children that it was a matter of life or death that we be virgins on our wedding night. That was good old Mormon fundamentalist doctrine!

A man could have lots of wives … But the man had to be a virgin, too … on his first wedding night, anyway! (After that he could marry any number of women, though he was no longer a virgin. Still, each of his wives had to be a virgin! But there were exceptions to this rule, too, such as in the case of divorce.)

But it was an all-important question to me, given that Momma and Papa had so fervently impressed upon me and my siblings that we be chaste virgins when we married. We were not even to kiss a man till we were at the marriage alter! I repeat: We were not to kiss our loved one till we were at the marriage alter!!

Therefore, I was taken aback to see Mama flush then exchange with Papa an embarrassed whimsical if not equivocal half-grin  … more a half-smile-half-wink, really, that implied, “Don’t ask; don’t you tell.” Then, having established an unspoken agreement and understanding with Papa, Mama carefully chose her words as she formed her response, “Why … of course, I was a virgin on my wedding night!”

But I sensed the look exchanged between her and Papa suggested a special and personal secret held between the two. It left me with the impression the jury was still out on the Ma-plus-Pa virginity equation.

Given their equivocation, I only wonder: Was Pa on the bottom or the top? And was their “wedding night” in the back of the pickup bouncing toward Ma’s parents’ home? That’s all I want to know! It’s more than I could know at the tender age of twelve … You have to know a little to ask a lot. At that age, I barely knew how babies were begot … and wished I knew not … if it was what I thought.

But I certainly wanted to believe my parents abided by the chaste rules they taught from the time I was a tot: That people must NOT lose their virginity! And, I repeat: Shouldn’t even kiss until they were at the marriage alter!

Older and wiser now, I suspect some of that bouncing of the pickup bed that carried Mommy and Poppy from Mesa, Arizona to Chihuahua, Mexico was created by more than the bumps in the rutted, rugged 1944 roads those many hours the truck sped along at top speed towards Mama’s parents’ home. (Perhaps Uncle Ben was doing his utmost to get these two lovers — my future parents — to his father’s presence while his sister and soon-to-be brother-in-law were still “chaste”?)

Oh, well. What the hell! Nature has purposely made the attraction between two people in love too difficult for abstinence — especially when they’re alone and getting to “know each other better” in the back of a secluded pickup. At least, that’s what I surmise. What’s your opinion?

I also suspect (from what I learned when Mother let me read her diary she wrote when she was in her late teens) other activities also had something to do with whether Mother’s hymen was still unbroken. I’ll tell you what I mean in an upcoming blog. Meanwhile, who knows what else may have passed between Ma, Pa, and those five years following the incident she wrote about in her diary?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Continued September 28, 2018: My Mama Esther LeBaron Spencer, Pa, Me, ‘n’ Polygamy — Part 26

Pt 24: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade

Pt 24: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade

me-bill
October 1962: Beulah Stephany Spencer-LeBaron de Tucker, age 16, with husband William Preston Tucker, age 26

 


Life’s Highway
To everyone their openeth
A way, ways, and a way;
And the high soul takes the high way,
The low soul takes the low;
While in between on the misty flats
The rest drift to and fro.
But to everyone their openeth
A high way and low.
And everyone decideth
The way his soul shall go.
(I memorized this poem when I was 13)
Author unknown


Taking up where we left off in:
“Pt 23: Mom, Dad, Me, and Polygamy on Parade:”

Today, let’s expand on a disturbing theme I mentioned earlier: My sister Mary told me Mother made advances toward her ex-husband polygamist Sigfried Widmar. (He already had a number of plural wives at the time.) Ugh!

Not sure if Mumma married Siegfried. But it’s disgusting to court, let alone marry your own daughter’s ex-husband — especially given that Sig very badly mistreated Mum’s daughter, my sister Mary, while she was married to him. Not only that, Sig had greatly neglected and maltreated his three sons Mary bore him (Mum’s grandchildren), including never visiting them nor sending child-support after the divorce!

Mumma was taking care of herself and lacked a sense of boundaries. But messy Mormon fundamentalism and religious polygamy leave ample space for disgrace — ample justification for fornication. Incest is common. Mothers and daughters married to the same man, in some polygamist cults, is but one example.

While Daddy was still living, Mother had designs on MY husband William Preston Tucker! She was in love with him, idolized him, and fantasized that she would be married to him in the celestial kingdom (if not sooner!) — one avenue Mormon polygamy allows! (Orthodox Mormons believe righteous Mormon men will have any number of wives in heaven — so it doesn’t matter that here on earth they are your own mother, ma-in-law, daughter, et Al!

Mother would turn on like a Christmas tree fawning over MY husband polygamist Bill Tucker whenever he came around! She literally preened about like a peacock in heat waving her fan along with her tailfeathers to wow my “cock” — showing him she was his fan … wanted him to be her fan.

As a part of her courting fanfare, “peacock-hen” Ma performed for my lover Bill her fanciest piano pieces — difficult classics like Rachmaninoff’s “Piano Concerto in C Sharp Minor (six sharps!), “Debussy’s difficult tone poem “Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun (https://youtu.be/fW0Y3M4EJ4M”), his beautiful level-seven-piano piece “Clair de Lune (5 flats) — and Chopin’s “Heroic Polonaise” in A flat (5 flats). I love these and Mumma’s many other piano pieces she played.

My Grandma Maud LeBaron also played some of the pieces Ma played — she taught a few of them to my mom her daughter Esther LeBaron Spencer, and helped her improve all the pieces she performed — Grandma had good taste — a consummate artist! Check out the above piano pieces — All can be found on YouTube.com — Oh, Mum knew how to impress — and knew how beloved Billy took to classical music!

Bill fancied himself classy when he listened to and appreciated classical music. Thank God Mum’s mom, my Pianist/piano-teaching Grandma Maud LeBaron saw to it Mummy got  ample years of private piano lessons and plenty of time to practice and perfect her pretty, fancy piano pieces; otherwise, Mumma wouldn’t have had much to impress others with — fat-at-40 with her fourteen beautiful kidlings straggling along behind her fanned-out fan feathers!

Though Bill had both a Bachelor of Science degree with honors and an Honorary Masters degree from UCLA and had also taught for a while at Texas Western University, he was always conscious of the fact he grew up on the poor side of town. (He was born in 1936 — the height of the Depression era.) He was ashamed of his handsome and charming father, who, though an artist and talented musician, was never well-to-do and made his living as a machinist and Foreman in a factory.

But that’s only the half of it when it comes to Mumma flying in, in her fantasy world (for let it be known that Mumma lived in quite a dreamworld) and coming on to my charismatic hubby like a peacock spreading its fantastic fan feathers! She was strutting her stuff while fantasizing about being Bill’s favorite wife in the hereafter — if not in the here-and-now — while I was still married to and greatly neglected by my Billy … and she was still married to my daddy!! 

She was having her problems with her hot-tempered, tyrannical spouse — my mean, aged papa twenty-six years her senior. But I was having my troubles with Bill too! He was no saint! Just a brilliant Alpha Male many women and men were in love. They, like me, idolized and adored gifted “Charming Billy.”

(Remember the song: “Oh, where have you been, Billy Boy, Billy Boy? Oh, where have you beencharming Billy? (Bill could play it like a Pro on his Martin ukulele!People in the cult couldn’t get enough of Billy-Boy Tucker. Many wanted to mate with him to get even closer — wanted to be a part of this amazing creaton … wanted to connect sexually. (Not sure how many ever did but they wanted to.)

Fuck! As luck would have it, much to my grief, Bill, my spouse the louse, left me after four-and-a-half trying years. That is, he “put me aside” — separated from me because, after too much suffering and disappointment, I had dissociated — had withdrawn bodily feeling for him. I had told him I no longer felt anything — was numb during conjugal relationships — no longer even felt when he fondled my once highly sensitive breasts! I’d managed to shut off physical feelings for him in an effort to distance myself from the eternal emotional pain caused by him and polygamy.

His “putting me aside” — that is, separating from me — though it devastated me, didn’t bother Mama at all! She saw it as a windfall for her! So it goes without saying, she didn’t sympathize with me and my sorrow, let alone did she try to help her twenty-year-old me patch things up with my precious hubby. Instead, Ma gleefully licked her chops for her chance to top me and take up with Billy in my place; i.e., displace me! (How would you like to have your mom as your competition — as if Bill’s other wives, boyfriends, and suitors weren’t competition enough!)

But a few months later, as Lady Fuck fanned her cards, Mother’s aces in the hole fell like dumped dominoes: After Bill separated from me, he secretly skipped out of Colonia LeBaron and Mom’s life! Then, safely hidden from Mom’s brother my uncle Ervil LeBaron — and his Danites — Bill announced he had left the LeBaron cult and Mormon fundamentalism for good and forever.

Then, three months after that, Bill died! “God took Bill!” said the true-believing cult members.It’s payback for his leaving the one and only true church!

Actually, Bill died of a ruptured appendix — payback for years in a cult where he couldn’t afford physicals even if he would visit a doctor. Sadly, Bill was allergic to the wonder drug Penicillin, the modern miracle medicine that has wiped out most deaths these days due to a burst appendix. (Penicillin cures the once-fatal infection, peritonitis, that quickly sets in following a ruptured appendix.)

You should have seen Mother at Bill’s funeral! It was held in Southern California. But she made sure to catch a ride leaving Mexico to go to the United States though she couldn’t afford it. Esther LeBaron-McDonald de Spencer simply had to attend her son-in-law (fantasy lover) Bill’s burial!

At the graveside, Ma was so caught up in her “poor me” misfortune of losing her dream-lover Bill that her daughter, myself, was insignificant in her eyes. She wanted everybody to feel sorry for HER because SHE lost her “son-in-law.”

So caught up in her attention-getting drama and trying to get in touch with her own feelings was Mama that she never once acknowledged me and mine. Never walked over to say hello to me, her grieving girl, let alone did she show me any sympathy or empathy — never inquired as to how I might feel about my adored husband’s suddenly and unexpectedly dying! Of course, I had left her church by then so perhaps she was simply shunning me. (?) But so had her “Billy” apostatized from her church! Go figure.

At the Memorial Service, immature Mama hadn’t comforted me, either. She was probably unnerved that I was there! And it seemed I was supposed to be fawning over her! Go figure again. I already have … long since: The poor lady had a narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissistic personality disorder – Symptoms and causes – Mayo Clinic I was only an appendage swinging off her like a pendulum: If she was okay, I was okay. She didn’t totally see me as a viable and dynamic entity separate from herself. (We’ll discuss this topic more in a future chapter.)

(Continued September 18, 2018: in “Pt 25: Mom, Dad, Me, and Polygamy on Parade”)


 

Review of Verlan LeBaron and Esther LeBaron Spencer’s “The LeBaron Story”

 

the-lebaron-story-book-cover-2
Joseph Smith, Benjamin Franklin Johnson, Alma Dayer LeBaron, and Joel Franklin LeBaron


“The LeBaron Story” is truly a “Vanity Book” — not only because my uncle Verlan LeBaron paid a publishing company in 1981 (back when self-publishing was not the norm) to publish the book — but also because it’s a revisionistic, apologetic, and biased history of “the Mexico LeBarons;” i.e., my grandparents Maud and Dayer LeBaron and their offspring.

What’s more, though my Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Verlan finished and got the book published, they are largely NOT the main authors of it. Truth is, Uncle Verlan was FAR too busy to write a book — even if he knew how — too busy working, traveling around from country to country visiting his ten wives and fifty-plus kids — and running from his brother Ervil who was out to kill him! Aunt Charlotte was about that busy too!

Fact is, MY mother/Verlan’s sister Esther LeBaron-McDonald de Spencer (with a BA in Journalism) is the one who birthed and did the groundwork for what is now “The LeBaron Story.” She wrote a large part of this book, then turned her “baby” — her manuscript over to her brother Verlan, along with her journals and notes, telling him he could finish and publish her book — could even have all the proceeds from it! (Did she tell them they could have all the credit for it also? I know Mother could be ridiculously magnanimous and philanthropic at times, but was she this magnanimous and philanthropic? Even if it were the case, too bad those who published her “baby”  didn’t return any of her magnanimity and philanthropy!)

Turning her book idea and all her manuscript work over to the new head of “The Church of The First Born of the Fullness of Times” was Mother’s loving and conscientious effort to help her brother Verlan look good and thereby better “build up the kingdom of God.” And it was her way of paying tithing to extend and defend “God’s work” because Verlan had taken over for her brother Joel F. LeBaron, “The One Mighty and Strong Prophet,” after Joel was murdered by his brother Ervil!

The work of finishing and compiling Mother’s grandiose book was largely done by my Uncle Verlan’s first wife Charlotte who did not know enough of the LeBaron family history to write it without relying heavily on Info from my mother Esther LeBaron-McDonald de Spencer’s journals and notes!

Therefore, about two-thirds of “The LeBaron Story” came directly from my dear Mum’s half-completed manuscript, notes, and journal entries. I was around when she was writing part of her family history — the Mexico LeBaron history. Delusional Mumma was so proud of her heritage she thought it most important the world know about her “saintly family” — the greatest and most holy family ever born into the world — next to Christ … perhaps — through whom “The One Mighty and Strong Prophet” was born. (Does this smell of megalomania?)

Mumma talked much about her writing endeavors — the “baby” she was birthing. Having read part of her manuscript and journals, I recognize her writing voice and input throughout “The LeBaron Story.” It makes up a large part of this book.

Therefore, note the two different writer’s voices inThe LeBaron Story”! Anything with beautifully written structured writing, defined paragraphs, quotes, sources listed at the back of the book, etc., is my mother Esther LeBaron Spencer’s writing voice — part of her contribution. Whereas Aunt Charlotte, Uncle Verlan, et Al’s writing voices are in the chapters where everything is run together and there aren’t structured paragraphs, footnotes, etc.

But, even though Uncle Verlan and Aunt Charlotte used large parts of what Mother wrote, word for word — used her material exactly as she had written it — no editing whatsoever — they gave my giving, creative, ambitious, Mom (a Writer) not one BIT of credit — not one speck of acknowledgment …  let alone so much as a howdy-do-dee or thank-you! It’s tantamount to plagiarism … shameful how Charlotte and Verlan took ALL the credit for Mama’s talent, initiative, education, and hard work!

But getting back to the body of the book, if you were to take the authors’ word for everything, the Mexico LeBarons are/were “a saintly people with a Godly mission.” I beg to differ: Wishing doesn’t make it so. In other words, wishful thinking, such as self-proclaiming oneself “The One Mighty and Strong,” and claiming one comes from “A Godly people with a Messianic mission” doesn’t make it true.

Much of the book’s lore takes place in Chihuahua, Mexico. Unfortunately, the authors tell the story in the words of true-believing, fundamentalist-Mormon-LeBaron cult members. In other words, it’s a highly biased history with a missionary purpose.

True to their fanatic religiosity, the book was mainly written to proselytize and promote Uncle Joel LeBaron’s cult: “The Church of the First Born of the Fullness of Times.” This presupposes a revision — a rewritten history, then; i.e., a white-washing of the LeBarons. Thus, it’s myth in the making.

Nonetheless, I was able to glean a bit of useful information from it. So I’m glad the book was written despite the biased viewpoint because nobody else in the immediate Mexico LeBaron family has written a first-hand history about themselves — and it shows how biased they were, some of what their bias was, and how they used it to portray and supplant themselves as God’s only emissaries of “the truth,” His Work, and His Plan. It’s a bias that supports their grandiose sense-of-entitlement and efforts to achieve power, control, and position in the world.

Suffice it to say, despite “The LeBaron Story” needing a good Editor’s service, it was quite an endeavor and accomplishment on the part of my not well-educated nor well-read but extremely busy country uncle and his wives. All the while they were compiling Mother’s notes and manuscripts, then finishing this chronology, they were ever laboring under heavy pressures and disadvantages such as raising huge families of children while living in backward, primitive conditions. But book-buyer beware …  be wary! That’s all I can say!

I was given a copy of this book many years ago when it first came out in 1981, fourteen years after I escaped the LeBaron cult in 1967. After reading the text, the obvious Messianic preaching and purpose, plus the revisionism, white-washing, and grandiose fabrications throughout the chronicle of “The LeBaron Story” got my gut so badly I was on my way to toss the book in the dumpster when two of Uncle Verlan’s daughters dropped in. They believed their father was a prophet so were very happy to be gifted with my book, “The LeBaron Story.” And I was very happy to get rid of it.

But thirty-six years later, for purposes of my own understanding and research, I had to re-buy the book! Argh! It’s going for around $45.00 in hardback on Amazon.com right now. Wonders never cease to amaze me … so I wonder! Well, to each his own … and read on!



Pt 23: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade

My Memoir: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade — Part 23

ma in pink skirt, 1
My Mama in her late forties

“People see what they want to see
till they want to see.”
Dena McLean
(My cousin)


I left off in blog“Pt 22: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade,” saying: Mama preached polygamy and told people they would go to hell if they did not live it, but other than her first six months of marriage to Daddy, she never shared/ had to share her own husband/my father in the whole twenty-two years she was married to him.

But not long after Daddy died, she once again “helped save” a man by becoming his plural wife — as she had with Daddy. I mentioned this man in a previous blog: This new husband was an attractive LDS Mormon man around fifty years of age: Mel Orchard. He was as big a windbag as Ma! But a bigger kicker is his legal wife, a mainline Mormon, didn’t know the marriage took place! Mother was around forty-six or so, then.

She was not married to windbag Mel for long. In an effort to become his favorite wife, Ma manipulated a sixteen-year-old virgin into becoming old-man Mel’s third wife. To make a long story shorter, word has it she told this young girl and her family she’d had a revelation their daughter was to marry “her” husband Mel. But Ma’s ploy backfired on her.

After helping old-man-Mel secure his child bride, much to her ire, he neglected Mama. As you might imagine, her efforts and sacrifice to please her new husband did not bring in the appreciation and favoritism from him she believed and preached was supposed to happen when a woman got her husband another wife “to build up his kingdom.” (Mormon fundamentalism has all kinds of pie-in-the-sky, not-down-to-earth beliefs about plural marriage and how it’s supposed to work!)

My dreamer but let-down Ma was too jealous, hurt, and aggravated to remain married to her heart-throb Melvin after procuring for him a nubile maid only to find her manipulations ended up losing more of his love and time, rather than gaining her more of it. The old gentleman spent most of his time and energy trying to please his new teenage wife — trying to get it up and on with this adolescent “fawn”!

Not long after that, Ma took up with an old High School flame, a handsome Hispanic hunk — Catholic, charming, and very married — who lived in Chihuahua City, a-few-hours-drive from her residence in Colonia LeBaron. When she was in her teens, Mother’s parents would not allow her to marry him: He was of the wrong religion and race. But she and this stunningly gorgeous Mexican man had never fallen out of love.

Now, many years later and a lot of water under the bridge and despite his being married, his wife not knowing about it, and his not being Mormon, Mama carried on a back-room bedroom affair with him — perhaps hoping she could convert him to Mormon fundamentalism in time (?). I witnessed a part of that affair when, while visiting her in 1973, he chanced to drop by.

Mama told her kids and me she was taking her “friend” into her den “to discuss the gospel.” But I was an astute twenty-seven-year-old who had been around the block a few times by then. The sounds coming from her lioness’s den — squeaking springs combined with climactic screams — were not the sounds of discussing the gospel, no matter how exciting the discussion was!

(Continued September 7, 2018: “Pt 24: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade”)



 

 

 

 

 

 

Pt 21: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade

 

jeffs-with-wives
Rulon Jeffs, his miscreant son Warren Jeffs, and a few of their “shared” wives

“Civilization is social order
supporting cultural creativity.”
Will Durant


Taking up from “Pt 20-A-J: Ma Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade,” it bears restating that one of my Mormon fundamentalist sisters who married so many Misters never ever caught on … never bothered to catch on how to check out, before she took on her next “husband,” whether the new “hunk” was going to treat her right — though she married wrong.

This is only one example of how the foot-washing, stoic, three-ring circus of “The Law of Celestial Marriage” works — The “BED-lam” J. Smith and B. Young loosed in this world. Their helluva law ought to be renamed The Lawless Law of Telestial Marriage the orthodox Mormon law that undoes what it took civilization 2000 years to build.

It’s barbaric, deplorable, and inexcusable that a “gospel” could teach doctrines that break up marriages, families, and civilized life — laws that leave the wife broken-hearted, betrayed, her home downtrodden, and her life and that of her kids damaged beyond repair.

It bears repeating that, thanks to problems with polygamy, children often grow up fatherless. And the abandoned or neglected wife or Ex-wife must play the role of both mother and father to her humongous family of small children – the perfect recipe for misery, poverty, deprivation … and under-class living. Unfortunately, the above is a typical scenario that both broken and unbroken families endure, thanks to Mormon polygamous doctrines.

I’m not proud of what my mother, sister, myself, and others like us do/did by becoming involved with an already-married man, though we were doing what we were taught God wanted us to do.

As I said before, I’m sad and chagrined that Mother had a part in the dire sufferings and hell Daddy’s first wife and children went through, even if it was part of Mother’s fanatic fundamentalist Mormon “privilege” — nay, her obligation to break up marriages; i.e., to move in and marry a man already married, to make sure he went to heaven by making sure he lived “The Law of Celestial Marriage” — “the holy law of matrimony” — no matter the consequences — and no matter whether she wanted or didn’t want to participate in this plural marriage mess — which, if given a choice, she wouldn’t have done.

Mama only entered polygamy after much stalling and consideration and at a very late stage in a Mormon fundamentalist girl’s life: She was around 23. (Especially in Mother’s time, the mid-1940s, an orthodox Mormon girl was considered an old maid if not married by around age 18.) Mother only became a polygamous wife because it had been drilled into her that her salvation depended upon it!

Nonetheless, “An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation – nor does truth become error because nobody sees it.” Mahatma Gandhi

(Continued August 18, in ” Pt 22: Ma Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade”)



Pt 20: A-J: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade

Pt 20-A: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy-On-The-Down-Low

Bill and I in church 1963



Tom Weston said you can tell
God created people in his own image
because he hates all the same people,
coincidentally, that you do.
(
The Christian far-right)


I left off in “My Memoir: Esther LeBaron McDonald de Spencer — And Polygamy On the Down-Low, Part 19-Z” remarking on a trip I managed to go on with Bill to Guadalajara, Mexico in 1965 — about a year after my trip with Bill and Bruce to Chihuahua City, Mexico.

Although a naïve nineteen-year-old, there I witnessed Bill with his buddy Stephen Silver making what I now know was a hit at the Mariachi Square, famous the world over as a gathering place for homosexuals.

I got sidetracked for a while writing about that “trip.” Now let’s get back to my trip to Chihuahua City, where I got “screwed.” But to add to Bill’s screwing me over, on the way to Bruce’s first wife Juna’s home in Chihuahua City and then back to Bruce’s second wife’s home in Colonia LeBaron, where Bill and I lived, I discovered how much men gossip — even “Saints.”

Right in front of me, while leaving me out of their conversation, these two Mormon-fundamentalist “priesthood holding Saints,” aye Plyg men, talked incessantly about my parents (one of Bill’s three sets of mothers and fathers-in-law) and my family — “The Spencer’s” … Their latest escapades, shenanigans, Spencer bigotry, narrow-mindedness … you name it!

When I attempted to stick up for my family, Bill cut me off with, “You told me …” and he went on from there. In other words, in order to further run me and my family down, my chameleon-faced husband Bill was actually betraying me by telling his buddy Bruce things I had shared with him privately!

It showed me he was ashamed to be married to me, at least when around Bruce — though somehow my uncle’s Joel and Ervil, my mother’s brothers, were good enough for Bill — and Bruce! As mentioned in previous blogs, my husband and Uncle Ervil were best buddies. And Bill was Uncle Ervil’s right-hand man! Go figure! But if you know how Uncle “Evil” Ervil lived, you better understand how ironic all this really was!

However, bully Bruce showed how high class and superior to me he thought he and Billy were when he quipped:

“You can take the girl out of the mountains but you can’t take the mountains out of the girl!” My ears hung, my tears stung. I could’ve shrunk into the seat beside my unsupportive spouse busy cutting ME to shreds by cutting down my family. I felt like the bottom of the barrel at the bargain basement sale!

But the irony is, this is the same Bruce Wakeham who, around 1958, joined my Uncle Joel LeBaron’s Mormon fundamentalist cult and moved himself and his family, including his parents, to the little backward LeBaron colony my maternal grandparents started on land my father and mother left them when, in 1947, my parents returned to live in the United States!

Even more hilarious: A few years after my hay-seed, self-proclaimed “profit” Uncle Joel died, Bruce, himself, was one of a number of Joel’s followers who took up claiming to be the new One-Mighty-and-Strong Prophet to replace Uncle Joel! Now tell me about class and Bruce’s being superior to me and my family!

I realize, now I’m older and wiser, my family and I were scapegoats for Bill and his bisexual buddies and lesbian harems — all big bullies and shams passing for perfect Mormon fundamentalist Saints. In that cult, they passed pretty well. But they were big frogs in a very little LeBaron pond!

When it came to Bill and Bruce making mincemeat out of my family, I realize one thing “eating” little 5.6 ft screwball-Billy with the nine-inch-six-pack-willy was my parents: They were deathly against homosexuality — as if my parents, themselves, were saintly examples in this or any other realm! Trip on that if you will!



Pt 20-B: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy On-The-Down-Low

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My parents Esther LeBaron-McDonald and Floyd Otto Spencer 


“To describe my mother would be
to write about a hurricane in its perfect power.”
Maya Angelou 


I left off with “My Memoir: Esther LeBaron McDonald de Spencer — And Polygamy On The Down-Low — Part 20-A.” Let’s now backtrack a few blogs — go back to before I was married to Bill.

I had barely graduated from eighth grade in Hurricane, Utah, in June of 1960, when my parents pulled us up, locks, stocks, shocks, ‘n’ barrels, to move to the desolate Rocky Mountain Range desert enclave Colonia LeBaron, Galeana, Chihuahua, Mexico to gather with the “Saints” to escape the calamities soon to hit the US. In other words, they believed the Chicken-Little tales that the sky was falling. Armageddon was imminent.

Once in that baron colony, I got no opportunity for further formal education beyond the eighth grade. Nor was I allowed to read, let alone have contact with the outside world in any way, shape, or form. That precluded TV and radio, of course.

In other words, I was cut off from all outside influences. High Tech and other computer technology hadn’t been invented yet, as far as I knew — cut off from “the world,” I would’ve been the last to know.

All that being what it was, had my parents and Uncle Ervil had the integrity to leave things in my own nubile life to take their natural course, I would at least never have been thrown into a marriage where I was deeply in love with a man who (unbeknownst to me and my family) didn’t even believe in Mormonism anymore — let alone polygamy — let alone did he want another wife … let alone would he care about her — let alone did he tell my parents or anyone else what he really valued or believed! Chameleons never do. They do what makes them look and feel best under the circumstances.

The idol of the LeBaron cult and colony, Bill/William Preston Tucker, the man I was pawned off onto, lacked integrity. In plain English, he was two-faced. Known for being a good diplomat, he couldn’t stand confrontation. That means he couldn’t say “No!” So, with social pressure put upon him by my Uncle Ervil, Bill’s best buddy, and by my parents — Bill went ahead and married me, the lesser of two evils — as far as he could see.

Only other bisexuals in the clan, and Uncle Joel, the clan’s prophet, knew the real “Bill”… The real deal … the bisexual Bill — the gay guy who wanted more time for his boyfriends — not more wives. Two was quite enough to keep his wives from knowing where he was and what he was doing at all times.

I mean, having more than one wife was his perfect Plyg ploy for passing as normal or straight while hiding his male sexual sprees he regularly carried on behind our backs — on the down-low.


 



Pt 20-C: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy On-The-Down-Low

Me, Bill and baby: Side views
 Our 6-month-old Asenath Marie, 18-year-old Me, and 26-year-old Billy 

 


Advice on How to Handle Overt and
Covert Narcissists:

Saying “I do not consent” won’t work with narcissists:
They don’t care about boundaries.
They will keep coming at you.
Look up “grey rock,” quietly let authorities know
of the toxic person, and, so you are taken seriously,
allude to the narcissist your willingness
to go to court on grounds of harassment. 

Otherwise, ignore the person unless
communication is unavoidable.
Learn not to take the narcissist’s behavior personally.
Keep in mind the overt/ covert narcissist
is a delusional, mentally ill person”



Emphasizing what I said previously in “My Memoir: Esther LeBaron McDonald de Spencer — And Polygamy On-The-Down-Low — Part 20-B:”

Had Dad, Mom, and her brother Ervil, left me alone, I would’ve had a chance to grow up and learn to think for myself. That’s precisely what they didn’t want. They wanted to use me to their advantage … to run my life as it best suited them.

But they did it in the name of making sure I go to heaven. That is, Mormon fundamentalists believe you have to live polygamy to go to the highest degree of glory. They don’t realize you can’t force anyone to be saved: It doesn’t work that way:
“A person convinced against their will,
Is of the same opinion still.”

My parents and Uncle Ervil should have waited to see if Bill showed interest in me before they pawned me off onto him! They didn’t care. In plural marriage, it’s easy-come-easy-go.

Bill Tucker, like the rest of the single and married men in the LeBaron cult, was attracted to me from the day I arrived there in the colony at age fourteen. Two years later, when Bill and I married, he told me: “I was always in love with you but I didn’t ask to marry you because I thought you were too young!” Yeah, right!

What he didn’t tell was the whole truth: He was gradually and quietly pulling up stakes, preparing to leave the LeBaron cult and colony in the dead of night, burning his bridges behind him, the first chance he got without being caught and killed. Bill Tucker knew too much to be let out alive!

Had things been done properly, I would not have been an adolescent thrown to the wolves in a marriage where the man had both arms twisted till he gave in to taking a plural wife he didn’t want. He didn’t want wife number-three. Two was plenty, thank you! Nevertheless, Uncle Ervil LeBaron was twisting one arm, my parents the other. Worse yet, Bill’s harem didn’t want another wife — at least, not one who wasn’t bisexual — wouldn’t fit into their Big Love nest/fest.





Pt 20-D: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy On-The-Down-Low

Norman Vincent Peale


Law 27
“People have an overwhelming desire to believe in something. Become the focal point of such desire by offering them a clause, a new faith to follow. Keep your words vague but full of promise; emphasize enthusiasm over rationality and clear thinking. Give your new disciples rituals to perform. Ask them to make sacrifices on your behalf. In the absence of organized religion and grand causes, your new belief system will bring you untold power.
The 48 Laws of Power
Robert Green, 1998


Taking up where we left off in “My Memoir: Esther LeBaron McDonald de Spencer — And Polygamy On-The-Down-Low — Part 20-C:

Other than my Honeymoon, a one-day trip to Chihuahua City, Mexico, and a five-day trip to Guadalajara, Mexico — all with my husband Bill — plus a trip up to the mountain town of Nico Las Bravos, Mexico, to visit relatives, from 1960 till 1967 I was pretty much stuck in the little windswept Colonia LeBaron, Mexico, a secluded Chihuahuan mountain desert enclave if ever there was one. I didn’t know Spanish, had a baby, no money, and couldn’t drive. Had no car if I could’ve.

To make matters worse, there were no means of public transportation. I was lucky if I could hop a ride now and then with somebody who lived in the LeBaron colony to go to Casas Grandes, the quite dilapidated — at least in the 1960’s — small Mexican town where our colony members usually shopped for most of their groceries and other needs.

In other words, I was cut off from the outside world and its influences. Our little primitive colony had no indoor plumbing let alone electricity, telephones, telegraphs, newspapers, magazines, schools, libraries … the list gets longer! So it precluded TVs, or any other news or information source, of course, though a few people had radios — a luxury I could not afford.

But, eight months after I was married and sharing a home with Bill’s second wife Lolita, thanks to an old box of magazines and books Serendipity and Synchronicity joined hands to leave on our front porch by way of a disgruntled member — an apostate who fled LeBaron — I found myself with informative and investigative things to read — thanks be to God, my Higher Power!

I was seventeen years old and no longer under the watchful eye of my parents. But even Bill’s other two wives were careful to report me to him if they caught me reading! I was to spend all my time working!

But, before anyone could see what was in the box, I hastily gathered it up and hid the inflammatory material, magazines, and pamphlets. Though I was supposed to burn the “Godsend,” I secretly devoured its contents. Ever a God-fearing, yet intellectual and curious person — a bookworm — I couldn’t resist the temptation! I was hoping it would have answers to some of my probing questions. I wasn’t disappointed.

One book in the box, “The Power Of Positive Thinking,” by Norman Vincent Peale, was a most influential work in my developing the ability to think for myself and to see through things such as the fallacies of polygamy — though common sense helped me see through that anyway. But Peale’s work created the means of a breakthrough for me.

Along with Ayn Rand’s Objectivist philosophy, my husband Bill Tucker’s influence and input, and my own experiences and reasoning, at age 17, Dr. Peale helped me to see through the glittering generalities and other mumbo-jumbo of mind-controlling religions.

He taught me how to put into down-to-earth terms scriptural verses, catchphrases, and other terminologies and clichés religions and cults commonly use to control their followers and keep them brainwashed and fearful.

I’ve forgotten more than I ever knew in this area — threw it out with the bathwater when I flew the coop and fled the cult. So, 55 years later, I’m unable to come up with a good example of what I’m talking about. Soon as I think of one, I’ll clarify what I mean.

But another wonderful bonus that came from reading Dr. Peale’s book is he taught me how to overcome my worst problems: Shyness and fear of talking to people — other than my immediate family. His book taught me how to face my fears and overcome them! Before his “blessing” arrived on my doorstep, I was a teenager and still unable to go knock on the door of even an aunt I really wanted to visit! And I would even cross the street so I wouldn’t have to say “Hi” to my own cousins! That’s how timid and bashful I was. People used to tell me the cat had my tongue. 

But getting back to Colonia LeBaron in 1963 — back to where I was before I sprouted wings and flew over the prison walls that bound me —  after four years of watching for my chance, a loophole opened where I could finally escape the LeBaron cult, Mormonism — and all other cults that have presented themselves ever since.

The “cult of doubt and disbelief” is the only one I have not been able to fully escape since then. But after 40 years of “wandering in the wilderness” literally, I’ve finally gathered enough input and information to know that, among other things, making no choice is also a choice, as is indecision.

So I’ve chosen to “Let go and let God.”  That is, some years ago, I finally realized that fear of believing in something (for fear another cult would be able to overtake me) was actually a “cult of fear.” I’m happy to say that now I have finally been able to regain a spiritual basis.

For example, I now acknowledge there is some kind of hereafter, Life is the “College of Hard Knocks,” and when opportunity knocks, answer! I believe we are spiritual beings having a physical experience, we have probably lived many lifetimes — and will continue on where we leave off in this life.

To my credit, within five months of escaping polygamy and Mormonism in 1967, I realized the philosopher Ayn Rand, herself, was a cult leader! She was my husband Bill Tucker’s new-found philosophical leader, shortly before he died — your philosophy of life being your religion.

Although my husband hadn’t seen it before he died at age 31, I, at age 21, was able to comprehend the above and to also see that Ayn Rand and other atheists had no more proof that God does not exist than religious people have proof God does exist. Quite a conundrum? I’ll leave you this yummy-gummy gumdrop to chew on till I come up with new dewdrops containing more oxymorons to gum up your reasoning. LOL!


  Pretty City Chick
  By Stephany Spencer

Dearest friends and fans, please note:
This “sorta” silly song I wrote
Is half-finished so I won’t gloat —
And pray my poem won’t get your goat.

But it’s late — my blog’s due “mañana.
If you check this song later on … uh …
You may find it partly “re-wrote.”
It needs work,” is my last quote.
Even so, enjoy what I wrote,
As I humorously emote:

Pretty City Chick

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 NOTE: The following is a tongue-in-cheek song I wrote: 

 Intro:
Hi! I’m a Hack Who’s
Written a Hit
Called “Pretty City chick,”
A Hee-ha Comedy Song —
A Bi
t o’ Bio in Verse,
For Better or Worse —
With Truth ‘n’ Exaggeration
Interspersed:

Hey, they say I’m a pretty city chick
And Hillbilly music makes some sick;
But my Hillbilly ways are here to stick,
So you may as well get over it —
And join in ’n’ sing a bit,
‘Cause I’m a city chick
And shit-kickin’ music is my shtick.

Born in Mexican sticks in 1946.
I’ve dual citizenship,
And that’s pretty hip —
And now I’m a city chick.

I’m an all-American-mongrel,
Apple-pie girl
 —

Hines-57 mixed-up mutt,
With apple pie stickin’ to my gut ’n’ butt;
But red-necked reactionary ignoramuses

Ain’t my thing.
I’m here for music and to sing!

Yeah, I’m an All-American-Mexican,
Scotch-Irish “Mick”
,

With Welch ’n’ English,
So sure, I’m a Brit,
With French, German,
And Mohawk Indian a bit.
If there’s no Tom Slick hidin’ in the pit,
Far as I know, that’s about it —
That‘s my story
And I’m “shitickin” to it!

My father was a proud Veteran
Of World War I.
Those Vets were well-appreciated
For what they’d done!
Pa was an artist, creative,
And Jack-of-all-trades;
Master of a few —
Good at so many things,
There seemed little he couldn’t do.

Ma was a creative, author,
And artist, thru ’n’ thru;
Poet, performer,

Trained concert pianist — Whew!
She loved to discuss religious principles
And read religious Lit, old ’n’ new —
Long as it agreed with
What she already “knew.”
She graduated with a BA
In Journalism too;
Quite an accomplishment
‘Cause Ma was sixty-two!

She was runnin’ me competition then,
For I was still in College too,
Strugglin’ to make it up
From the cult she’d put me thru …
If she only knew!
But her motto was:
Anything you can do,
I can do better;
I can do anything better than you!”
(And she meant it too!)

Refrain:
Hey, they call me a pretty city chick,

But Hillbilly music is my “shtick,”
And my Hillbilly ways are here to stick;
So you may as well “git” over it
And join in ‘n’ sing a bit
With this pretty city chick,
‘Cause shit-kickin’ music is my shtick.

Born in Mexican sticks in 1946,
I’ve dual citizenship
And that’s pretty hip.
Well, that’s my story
And I’m “shtickin’ ” to it:
“I’m a pretty city chick.”


*The following is an iPhone video of me in 2017 at age 71 performing the above lyrics at the California Writers Club — fifty years after escaping polygamy & Mormon fundamentalism. It’s a standup-comedy song I wrote called “I’m a Hit.” I recently “re-writ”  part of it and renamed it “Pretty City-Chick”:


 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

Pt 20-E: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy On-The-Down-Low

ma in pink skirt, 1
My Mother Esther LeBaron Mcdonald de Spencer in her mid 40s

“You have to have standards,
no matter how low!”
Anne Lamott


Picking up from the previous blog, “Part 20-D: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy On-The-Down-Low:

Previously, I said William Preston Tucker/ AKA: Bill, the 26-year-old polygamist I was pawned off on, was commonly two-faced. It was too important for him to be liked. In order to be liked, he couldn’t possibly let people know how he felt, what he really believed, and who and what he actually was — for example, gay/ bisexual, and a nonbeliever. If the “True believing” orthodox Mormons knew this stuff, Bill would have been run out of the cult and colony on a steel rail, with one up his ass!!

But duplicitous Bill worked amazingly well the trusting crowd of naïve sect followers. His charisma, good diplomacy, and clever deceptions were only outdone by his charm, cunning cons, mastery of the Scriptures — and his good looks and lies.

Part of Bill’s above package was he couldn’t stand confrontation. That means he couldn’t say “No.” So when push came to shove, he caved in to all the arm-twisting and married adolescent me though he didn’t really want me. But there were perks in it for him, some of which I mentioned in earlier blogs.

I didn’t mention that my Uncle Ervil LeBaron convinced his buddy Bill one perk to having a third wife was it would help him handle his first two waring wives. Bill told me, soon after we were married, they fought like cats and dogs! Well, marrying me certainly solved that problem. I was such a threat to Bill’s first two wives, they quickly bonded and banded together to keep him away from me! That’s a story in itself.

But getting back to where I left off a few blogs back saying Mummy, besides sneaking into my diary, reading that I was in love with Bill Tucker, and then falsely claiming she’d had a revelation I was to marry him, further exhibited lack of integrity by incessantly preaching and promoting “The glorious principle of holy matrimony;” i.e., “Plural Marriage” — though she could not live this “holy principle” herself! Not much anyway. But, again, what’s new? She often didn’t practice what she preached. (Sorry, all you Esther-idolizers.)

Yes, this fearful, fanatic Mormon fundamentalist preached and wrote numerous articles teaching the glories and importance of living the law of plural marriage as if she were an authority on it, though almost everything she had to say about it was hearsay!

As far back as I can remember, she incessantly discussed with others “The Principle” — Joseph Smith’s mandate to live polygamy or be banned from the highest degree of glory in heaven. It was a typical topic among intellectual well-meaning orthodox Mormons.

But Mother led all the rest when it came to pushing polygamy — other than perhaps Rhea Kunz, a well-known independent Mormon fundamentalist in my time. She was my Aunt Charlotte Kunz LeBaron’s mother — my Uncle Verlan LeBaron’s mother-in-law … one of his many mothers-in-law: He had ten wives.

It’s a blast from the past to remember jealous Ma and zealous Rhea exuberantly and fervently going on and ON about the virtues and principles of polygamy. In fact, Rhea had designs on becoming my father’s plural wife! But Daddy couldn’t stand strong, outspoken women who “wore the pants.” So in no time, Daddy, with his razor-sharp tongue, put intellectual and scholarly Rhea in her place and sent her packing. Mother was SO relieved she didn’t have to share her husband with her cohort Rhea!

Nonetheless, Mother ever and always worked overtime to get her kids, converts, and others to live “The highest and most heavenly, God-given principle of Polygamy,” as well asThe the law of Chastity” … all the while not living either, herself. But people didn’t notice she was not living “The Principle” — only talking about it! Far less did they know she wasn’t living The Law of Chastity either!

My twin sisters, who shared the common wall between our parents’ bedroom and their’s, told me they regularly heard springs squeaking and squawking — and other “squeaks and squawks” going on at night in Ma and Pa’s sanctuary, though Mother was pregnant or nursing. And when wasn’t she pregnant during the whole 22 years she was married to Pa before he died at about age 69?! To cut her some slack, though,

Yet, when wasn’t she pregnant or nursing during the whole 22 years she was married to Pa before he died at about age 70?! To cut her some slack, though, perhaps she was but constantly procrastinating when it came to practicing what she preached.

To defend her “spring-squawking,” she told me (when I was around 20 years old): “Beulah, when a  woman is a man’s only wife, she’s obligated to break The Law of Chastity, as the lesser of two evils. Because if a man doesn’t have sex regularly, he can become impotent and then not be able to have any more children. That would be terrible! One of the advantages to polygamy” she continued “is a woman can more easily abide by ‘The Law of Chastity,’ and doesn’t have to have sex as often!

She made sex sound like an evil ordeal to be endured — all the while getting her fair share of it, it appears, with her old man 26 years her senior. (Once, after I was married, she told me, “Your pa seems mean and gruff but he is so kind and tender when we are all alone together in bed at night.)

Wow! You can bet Mama sure never preached nor wrote about that stuff in her severe sermons to others on living “The Law of Chastity.”

To repeat what I’ve said in previous blogs, living “The Law of Chastity” includes having sex only while fully clothed in your white Temple garments and ONLY, and I mean ONLY to get the female pregnant!! To enjoy it even then is considered unspiritual, lustful, and lecherous! (Talk about obsessive-compulsive, perfectionistic, control-freak thinking!)

Rhea Kunz also got off on incessantly and piously preaching The Law of Holy Matrimony and The Law of Chastity. This stalwart sanctimonious fanatic even wrote rather virulent books and pamphlets on these subjects as if she were some great saintly leader and the perfect female example who stood above all the rest of us when it came to living plural marriage and all the other “righteous” principles of early Mormonism.

But, like Mother, Rhea also never married into polygamy again after her polygamous marriage went on the rocks, even though living polygamy and the law of chastity were the hallmarks of a good, faithful, high-standing Mormon fundamentalist!

What it boils down to is Ma and Rhea said one thing, did another: They were great windbags — big frogs, in a little pond, that intimidated and worried all the rest.

They told others how to live but were all talk; not examples. Still, people looked up to them, revered them — and yearned to have their “calling and election made sure” the way Mother claimed she had hers made sure!

In other words, Mother went around telling people in the cult that she knew for sure she was going to the highest degree of glory when she died! And people believed her! (Can you believe that?!) Well, these people believed Joel LeBaron was “the one mighty and strong prophet.” And Mother was his sister. So in their eyes, she was practically a prophet!

Even so, neither Mother nor Rhea were living “Celestial Marriage,” the very thing they were preaching to everyone else they had to live in order to have their “Callings and Elections” made sure. Is there a message here or what? People, wake up!

Psychologists say what people talk most about is what they most want to cover up. They are smoke-screening — hiding their shadow-self … what they are most ashamed of or guilty of … what they cannot deal with in themselves and don’t want others to know about or see.

So, though Mama held herself as more righteous and holy, above all others, and the leader of God’s chosen handful of faithful women, she remained monogamous in her around twenty-two-year marriage to Papaexcept for her first six months (As written about in previous blogs, Poppy’s first wife left him six months after he took Mummy as his plural wife). Was there a double standard in Mormon fundamentalism or what?

But, let it be noted, during Mummy’s adult life, though she was too jealous to endure Poppy taking a plural wife, she definitely did “endure” being a plural wife to other women’s husbands — though none of these flirtations or marriages ever lasted long.

For example, in her early 20s, before she met Poppy, she dated polygamist Rulon Jeffs, the now-infamous Warren Jeffs’ father!! One of my sisters once quipped, “He could’ve been our brother by a different mother!”

Some years after Poppy died, Mommy had a short-lived plural marriage as secret second wife to LDS Mormon Mel Orchard — another windbag like herself. (Mel’s LDS Mormon legal wife did not know about this polygamous wife her husband had taken!) After that illicit liaison failed, Mother joined Rev. Moon’s family and cult, “The Moonies.” More on that in next week’s blog.


 



Pt 20-F: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on-the-down-low

ma at 14
My amazing mama Esther LeBaron-McDonald at age 14

Notes from a Chat Site:

“Narcissists make me melt down and cry like a child.
It is a remarkable 
trick Narcissists pull.
They are petty and acquisitive — and have no scruples.

They value themselves by how much they can
steal from someone else through cunning, manipulation,
or simply
 believing they are entitled:
‘What is mine is mine; what is yours is mine.’

They get you to give up the goods with
some very clever lies and manipulations.
They are conmen, plain and simple.
Sooner or later, inconsistencies emerge,
but even the most educated mind can be towed under.
I have reached for help, and there is never anyone there.”



Taking up from my last blog, My Memoir: Part 20-E: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy On-The-Down-Low:”

When my amazing Mummy became disillusioned with her brother Joel LeBaron’s Mormon fundamentalist cult and Mormonism too, she and my sister Mary joined Rev. Moon’s organization for some time. Mary told me: Mumma even married Rev. Moon as one of his wives.

Later on, both Mummy and Mary left The Moon Organization — The Unification Church. That took some doing! But after that, Mummy was a desperate dummy: She returned to the doomsday Messianic Mormon cult in which her brother Joel LeBaron had been “The One Mighty and Strong” prophet. But Joel had died years earlier. I guess she’d had another one of her revelations? Or was waiting for “the prophet Joel’s” successor? Or a “successor” Mummy could believe in had laid claim to the position by then. I was long gone so don’t know all the details.

I only know how difficult it is to have nothing but the abyss to wake up to every morning because you have lost your faith, direction, and purpose — your explanation that gives meaning to life. This helps explain why, historically, most people, when they leave one cult, end up in another.

In a world where we don’t know where we came from, why we are here, or where we’re going, desperate people do desperate things. At best, we prove who we are by who we are not. For example, “We are God’s chosen people,” so we are not “the wicked world.” Or: “We are Christians so we are saved “– and so on and so forth.

My sister Judas (pseudonym) who died in 2012 at age sixty-four due to a brain tumor and ALS (ALS: Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis – Signs and Symptoms | Muscular …), was never one to mince words. She explained Mummy thus: Though quite gifted intellectually, somewhere along the line, all Mother’s marbles rolled to one side and got stuck … never again to get unstuck!

Judas, herself, had joined the LDS or mainstream Mormon church a number of years after she and her husband Hector Spencer* left the LeBaron cult and Mormon fundamentalism. Her marriage to Hec, when she was 18 and he around 42, started out as a polygamous marriage — again, totally orchestrated by Mother.

That’s one of the problems with religious polygamy: It leads to manipulating especially the young girls’ lives because they become pawns in a huge power play whenever men can have more than one wifenot to mention, it leaves no wives for the young men in the cult. They, too, are pawns in the hands of the authoritarian, totalitarian, theocratic leaders: Sadly, they’re often simply used to help support their father’s many wives and children!

Mother had good qualities. But her belief in Mormon fundamentalism and her weakness for wanting popularity and power, coupled with the faults and temptations inherent in mandated polygamy, taught her to believe she was doing God, her daughters, and the priesthood holders a great service when she placed them — her ten bright, beautiful, talented young daughters  — as polygamous wives with the most prestigious men in the cult, namely older married men she liked and wanted to please and gain favor with.

However, Judas’s marriage she arranged with Hector, so he could enter “The Principle,” soon became monogamous: His first wife, a mainstream LDS Mormon, divorced him immediately when she discovered he’d secretly taken a plural wife — 24 years his junior, no less! What’s worse, he couldn’t even support her and her children worth a darn, let alone a plural wife and her children.

Judas and Hec’s marriage lasted about twenty-three years before it crumbled: Judas had begun to rove. Around age 40, she fell in love with and married her Mormon boss, owner of a successful Real Estate business in southern Utah. At 56, he was fifteen years her senior. “But he’s young in comparison to ‘that old bag-of-bones’ Hector,” she told me. Hec’s going on 66 now!

To add to the drama, her new husband left his first wife — though they had been married in the Mormon Temple — to marry Judas in the Mormon temple! (Talk about a marriage made on earth!)

Let’s tell it for what it was: My sister Judas took another woman’s husband, whatever the justification. And, of course, she couldn’t do it alone. All’s fair in love and war? But being raised in orthodox Mormonism certainly affects one’s values and actions, even after one has “escaped polygamy” — as in the case of my sister Judas — the perennial Judas. But she explained it thus: “My marriage to Hector was arranged. I was never really in love with him. But I definitely experienced true love in my second marriage!”

As for my now-deceased sister Mary Spencer, she was married at the tender age of 15 as the second or plural wife of a much older man, Siegfried Widmar — another catastrophic polygamous marriage arranged by Mother, although Daddy may have colluded.

But Siegfried totally abandoned my sister Mary and their three darling little sons when she became ill with a life-threatening bone marrow disease brought on by radiation poisoning due to fallout from the H-bomb testing, tests that took place in the Nevada Flats area close to where my family lived in St. George, Utah when Mary was a baby.*

As regularly happens with polygamous marriages where the plural wife was a freebie, deprived and poorly educated child-bride Mary was left to raise her three little boys all by herself.* No financial support whatsoever came from Sigfried! What’s worse, he never even visited his precious fatherless sons when in the United States — where Mary fled after she left the Mexico LeBaron cult!

Once again: Whenever there is an abundance of something, it’s not much appreciated — an abundance of wives and children, in this case. (By this time, I don’t know how many more wives and children Sigfried had acquired. He was an important man in the cult. He had even become the leader of one of the cults that split off from Joel’s sect after Joel was killed by his competitive brother Ervil!)

Mary told me even our own mother became a plural wife (for a while) of HER ex-husband, Siegfried — despite how “Sig,” her Ex-son-in-law, had abused and abandoned her/Mary and her three sons/ Mumma’s grandsons!! (Polygamy breaks down all barriers and boundaries, in some people, in the name of “having a priesthood head,” if you’re a woman.)

Sadly, Mary died alone in a Utah hospital of cervical cancer on October 6, 2017, one month before her sixty-ninth birthday. The last I knew, she was a fervent follower of Marianne Williamson.


  • Hector Spencer was the Bishop of the LDS Mormon Church in Colonia Dublan when he left the mainstream Mormon church to join the LeBaron cult around 1964. He was close to Mother’s age and was one of the pals Mother and her brothers grew up with there in the Mexican Mormon colonies.)

  • Mother proudly left Mary outside in her baby carriage so she could watch the radiation clouds from the H-bomb tests as they floated overhead because we people living in the area had been propagandized to believe we were lucky to get to see history in the making — lucky to be living in the area where we could see these radiation clouds passing overhead!

As it turns out, “these lovely clouds” were radiating all the grass and alfalfa the cows and goats ate — among other foods and things — later to be passed on into the milk and milk products babies and others ate. (We are what we eat ate.)

Check out this radiation-poisoning of the people in our area that started, say some, in 1951 (some articles I read say it started at least by 1945 — and I believe that is more like it):

  • DOWNWIND FROM THE BOMB – The New York Times

  • I believe Mary was around 19 or 20 years old when Siegfried dumped her and her/his three little boys. At the time, Mary was lucky if she had five years of formal education. It’s amazing, therefore, what my sister survived and achieved in the years to come, despite her life of abuse, poverty, deprivation, illness, heartaches, and more.

 


** NOTE: The following Essay by blogger Bruce Holt posted here by permission:

Steven Hassan’s BITE Model…Part “B”

The BITE model: The specific methods that cults use to recruit and maintain control over people.

“B”: Behavior Control

  • Promote dependence and obedience
  • Modify behavior with rewards and punishments
  • Dictate where and with whom you live
  • Restrict or control sexuality
  • Control clothing and hairstyle
  • Regulate what and how much you eat and drink
  • Deprive you of seven to nine hours of sleep
  • Exploit you financially
  • Restrict leisure time and activities
  • Require you to seek permission for major decisions

To me, a former member of the LDS Church, these are self-evident. To a current member, they may not be so evident. Why? Confirmation bias. Obedience to authority, depending on authority for the current word of God, behaving in accordance with proscribed actions, paying tithes and generous offerings in order to receive anticipated rewards (blessings, status, ability to participate in ordinances not available to those who don’t), sexuality (including modes of dress, abstinence until marriage, heterosexual only, personal arousal, etc.), “busy work” (Ministering – formerly Home/Visiting Teaching), time-consuming callings and assignments, recommendation to date and marry within the Church, Word of Wisdom, etc.

These are methods to control behavior! Period!

Members will protest, saying they choose these things and are not forced. However, each of these things has a reward, if they are chosen, meaning they ARE, absolutely, forms of control! Sure, one does not have to follow or comply with these things, but where does that leave this member? What will happen? Will he/she be left alone?

If they are noticed, no (have you ever attended a Ward Council meeting??)!

This is behavior control, pure and simple.

Thoughts Pro/Con? Please comment!


 

Hi, Bruce:
Just wanted to add that another way the LDS Church controls, converts, deprives its people of sleep, time, and so forth, is in how it has High School students attending Seminary at 6 AM in the morning, no LESS — leaving little time outside their brainwashing-Seminary class for social life, homework, sufficient sleep for their growing bodies, etc.!  

~BTW, thanks for permission to use your blog! ~ Stephany Spencer

 

 



My Memoir: Pt 20-G, Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy Parasites

mormon-beliefs-org
The caption should read: “What Orthodox Mormons Believe: Polygamy


“Everything can be taken
from a person but one thing:
The last of the human freedoms –
to choose one’s attitude
in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one’s own way.
Viktor Frankel
Man’s Search for Meaning



Continuing where we left off in “Pt 20-F, Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy Parasites,” it bears repeating what I said in an earlier blog: It’s reprehensible that Mormon fundamentalist dogma encourages women to intrude upon established marriages and break them up, all in the name of “living a higher law” — as 22-year-old Mother inadvertently did, though she thought she was doing right — doing what God wanted when she fell for 48-year-old mainstream Mormon Pa who was already married and had going-on eleven children with his wife Eva who did not want to live polygamy!

In other words, Mormon fundamentalist doctrine encourages adultery: It encourages a woman to go after the married man she’s attracted to in the name of “a higher law” — “The celestial law of marriage” — though he is another woman’s “Contracted Property.” Orthodox Mormon thought: God’s laws supersede man’s laws. I say, what a bunch of bull pucky!! But what can you expect fairly illiterate Mormon male self-proclaimed “profits” to teach and prophesy when fundamentalism is all about power?

Polygamy simply creates disorganization, lawlessness, and laws onto themselves; i.e., havoc in the social order in the name of God!  It encourages men to womanize and women to “man-ize;” — to seduce a married man to have and to share as her husband in the name of “celestial marriage.”  

But these Mormon fundamentalist women are usually thinking like monogamists. In other words, due to human nature, there is inbuilt and immediate competition: These women are generally hoping and working to be the man’s favorite wife … the one he spends most of his time with — all the while wishing they were his only wife.

Glittering generalities (e.g., Celestial Marriage) aside, in the end, “Celestial Marriage” or polygamy — commonly called “eternal marriage” in Mormon fundamentalism — is literally “Telestial marriage” — or Hell on earth!

 Religious polygamy opens the door to disorganization, rampant lechery, waywardness, lawlessness –– not Godliness — and encourages women to be the natural predators they already biologically are when not hemmed in by law, religion, good sense, and social pressure.

Example: One of my nine sisters has married and dropped at least nineteen different polygamist men since she was an adolescent. Her first marriage was arranged by my parents when she was only around 16 years old. The rest is history.

She was very offended when I told her it sounded to me like legalized prostitution! She told me and her kids that she was (paraphrased): Just teaching those men a lesson! I showed other polygamist women how to stand up for themselves against husbands who don’t treat their plural wives right!”

One of her sons added, “My mom sure kicked ass down there in the LeBaron colony! By leaving each husband when they didn’t do right by her, she sure taught those men a thing or two!”

If she had been married to all of those men at the same time, she would really have taught them “a thing or three;” that is, an even a greater lesson — a real honest-to-god lesson about what it’s like to be mistreated as a polygamist’s wife!

But one reason women don’t have harems is they’d, more likely than not, have a lot of men to clean up after, serve, and cook for rather than just one. I saw a comic strip on Facebook where a woman had come home from work to find all five of her husbands sitting on the couch raucously watching sports on TV while gobbling bags of popcorn. “Whose turn was it to take out the garbage today?!” She cried disgustedly. “It’s spilling all over the garage floor!”

I’m sad and ashamed to say my serial-polygamist sister has children fathered by at least three different fathers — though her first two husbands left her by default, thanks to polygamy and its inherent faults — including male irresponsibility. But that still does not smooth over her lifestyle-choices that suffer for lack of good values, education, and intellectual insight.

It seems she was unable to take into account the law of cause-and-effect and other down-to-earth concepts. She was too busy with irrational up-in-the-sky concepts; i.e., sacrificing for the hereafter! I mean, anything’s okay in Mormon fundamentalism if it’s done in the name of living The “holy matrimonial law of polygamy” … so as to bear many children for God’s kingdom.




Pt 20-H: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy Parasites

kimbel and kociela

Listen on YouTube to my Aunt Irene (Kunz-LeBaron) Spencer’s half-sister, my aunt-in-law Rebecca Kunz Kimbel’s outstanding interview of Author Ed Kociela who wrote two excellent books I recommend: Plygs,” and “Plygs 2.”*



Till we learn from past mistakes,
we’re bound to repeat them
and pass them on to our progeny ad infinitum
in the form of bizarre institutions,
miscreant behavior, myths, and misconceptions.
Stephany Spencer



I left off in “Pt 20-G: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy Parasites” relating how one of my nine sisters has children fathered by at least three different husbands — though her first two left her by default, thanks to polygamy, its inherent negligence, delinquency, derelictsand easy-come-easy-go plural wives.

But that still doesn’t smooth over my sister’s lifestyle choices that suffer for lack of good values, education, logical thinking — and learning from past mistakes.

As said before, it seems she was unable to take into account the law of cause-and-effect and other down-to-earth concepts. She was too busy living for irrational up-in-the-sky concepts — too busy sacrificing for the hereafter.

I mean, anything’s okay in Mormon fundamentalism if it’s done in the name of living “The holy matrimonial law of polygamy.” It comes first and foremost — and above all else, because J. Smith said living celestial marriage was our ticket to heaven — the highest degree of glory. (See Doctrine and Covenants, Section 132 — Mormon Scriptures: Revelation, 12 July 1843 [D&C 132], Page 1 – The Joseph Smith Papers)

Out in the wicked world, people would generally consider my sister White trash; i.e., living an illiterate lifestyle wherein underclass people follow their whims rather than use forbearance, common sense, and rational reasoning before they make serious life-leaps. But, unfortunately, you can expect most any dastardly lifestyle and bizarre behavior when it comes to cults.

In my sister’s case, after each divorce, she continued to seek a new, attractive, already married Plyg, never seeing nor accepting polygamy would never work because it was not right! — despite what Joe Smith said!

But my Sis also kept remarrying for the usual: Love, loneliness, sex — and always thinking the next marriage would work … And because she needed financial support, help, and a father for her kids.

She kept remarrying, too, because she was brainwashed, fearful, hardheaded, not well-educated, even less well-read … and a follower, not a deep thinker. Therefore, she couldn’t see past what had been instilled in her growing up in the authoritarian theocracy of Mormon orthodoxy: “Women can only go to heaven on their husband’s coattails.”

My sister probably thought: If I don’t have a husband, how in hell can I make it to heaven?!? That is, how could she hitch a ride to heaven if she had no husband’s coattails to sail there on?!*

So, for this one of my parents’ ten girls, it was try, try, try again … and again … and again … and again … and again … and again ... ad infinitum! But never give in. Never give up trying to “Do what’s right.” If anything, the Mormon fundamentalist motto is: Do what is right — or die trying!

One wonders if she was bullheaded, dull, sociopathic, crazy, inconsiderate, horny, helpless, lonely, … or what!? Or simply a brain-dead, misled, sadomasochistic-glutton for punishment — and a foot-washing, fanatic Mormon cult member putting into practice Joe Smith and Brig Young’s commandment to “Live polygyny or be damned!”

Never mind that living religious polygyny/polygamy in the here-and-now dumps one into a hell on earth “here-and-now”!! That is, one doesn’t have to wait till “The Hereafter” to go to hell if one chooses not to live “Plural Marriage” so as to raise up lots of little kids for the glory and power of the self-proclaimed “Profit.”

But what about her kids?! How did it affect her babies when their mother married then divorced so many different “daddies”? Go figure! Polygamy leads to Hell here and Hell hereafter.

According to early self-proclaimed Mormon Prophets, you are doomed to suffer eternal Hell in the hereafter if you do not live plural marriage in the here-and-now … the “Herebefore”! But then they add, “Plural marriage will damn more than it will save.” Well, you’re Damned if you do and damned if you don’t!
~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Those damned self-proclaimed “profits”
Have you by the horns in fits,
coming and going,
Turned upside down by the balls,
Strung out ‘n’ crowing!


*NOTE: See YouTube for super discussions between Ex-Mormon- fundamentalist-turned-Producer Rebecca Kimbel (my aunt) and Ed Kociela, outstanding Author, Journalist, and expert on Mormon fundamentalists.


The Following is a Spoof on Mormonism/Mormon Fundamentalism 



Pt 20-I: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade

family, all but sharon
My family in 1964 — one sister absent)

Abuse: 
“When fear rules,
Obedience is the only
survival choice.”
Toni Morrison
“God Help the Child”


My parents, though trying prodigiously to do what was right, foolishly spawned a bunch of foot-washing fundamentalist children bound by fear and preposterous polygamy propaganda.

Example: Continuing with the expose of how one sister was affected by this Mormon fundamentalist dogma, I asked her why she dropped each “husband” — that is, those that hadn’t dropped her first. Her innocent, non-introspective response was:

“Because they didn’t treat me right, weren’t living polygamy right … and weren’t hard workers like Daddy — couldn’t compare to him. Therefore, I was smart to leave them. It taught them a lesson: They couldn’t get away with neglecting me and not supporting me and my children. Then, of course, I had to remarry: Women are supposed to have a husband as their head, their priesthood leader.”

She never could see that living polygamy “right” is wrong. Because living religious polygamy, itself, IS WRONG. It enslaves women, for starters. It’s a Satanic utopian ideal built on some male “profit’s” foolish, selfish, testosterone-based fantasy.

I say: Wake up, Sister, before another Mister makes you mother of yet another brother or sister by yet another Mister … who’s also “not like your father”!

The law of cause-and-effect screams, “If you touch a hot stove and it burns you, stop touching the damn thing! Back off!! The burn is obviously telling you you’re doing something wrong! So stop it!!”

Cult brainwashing demolishes people’s better judgment. It causes them to mistrust their own inner voice, to live in fear, and to follow their leader — their prophet, ignoring outward signs that what they’re doing is a mistake.

I call my sister’s “sleeping around” simply legalized prostitution — the ability and “right” to proposition any married or single man she wants as her next husband. What’s worse, in her brand of polygamy, the guy believes he can’t refuse! Nor does a man’s other wives usually have a say in it. What a great way to break down family life and ties, trust, and the sacredness of holy matrimony!

One way my sister courted a new mister was to simply ask him over to repair her plumbing — literally! And to sip ‘n’ sup a bit, afterward, as reward and enticement toward acquiring her latest heartthrob or male object/ husband.

I’m told it didn’t matter if the man she was chasing had a pregnant wife at home almost on the delivery table who desperately needed him by her side. Nothing mattered but living polygamy — i.e., “getting her plumbing serviced.”

An orthodox Mormon man usually did not turn down a needy “woman in distress.” Men usually don’t — especially would-be White Knights in shining armor — especially if polygamy’s “the law”!

And get this: My Sis says, “I know I’m pretty. I don’t care how his other wives feel when I go after their husband. My having a husband and living plural marriage comes first.” This almost smells of sociopathy: She’s taking care of herself and “Screw the rest!” 

And why should she care about other women? In polygamy, they are her competition. It’s not supposed to be the case in that belief system, but it is because she’s human: “The other women” get in her way when it comes to happiness and having her needs fulfilled.

Or, to look at it from a social-psychological viewpoint, perhaps she never got Daddy all to herself, as a little girl. By going after another woman’s husband, she’s simply subconsciously still trying to win her Dad from her mother (“the other woman”) when she goes after another person’s “Pa.” 

Be all these conjectures what they may, the last I knew, she never caught on … never bothered to catch on how to check out, before she took on her next “husband,” whether the new hunk was going to work out — going to “treat her right” — though she married wrong! (But how do we even know she treated him right?)





 

Pt 20-J: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade

luna-l-recovering-agency
 I recommend this well-researched book authored by Ex-LDS Mormon Luna Lindsey — A super Text for anyone wishing to lift the veil of Mormon mind control.

People see what they want to see,
believe what they want to believe; 

It’s impossible to reason
with an irrational person. 

 Stephany Spencer


I left off in “Pt 20-I: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade” saying in the cult I came from, a Mormon fundamentalist man usually did not turn down a needy “woman in distress” — if she asked him to marry her. Most men usually don’t. Especially would-be Mormon White Knights in shining armor — especially if polygamy is “the law;” i.e., part of their religious tenets!

This is only one example of how the foot-washing, stoic, three-ring circus of “The Law of Celestial Marriage” works — The “BED-lam” Joe Smith and Brig Young spawned in this helluva world. I’ve coined their so-called “Celestial Law” The Lawless Law of Telestial Marriage: The orthodox Mormon law that undoes what it took civilization 2000 years to build!

It’s barbaric, deplorable, and inexcusable that any religion could teach doctrines that break up marriages, families, and civilized life — and create laws that leave the wife broken-hearted, betrayed, her home downtrodden, and her life and that of her kids smashed to smithereens.

Often, as said previously, thanks to the numerous problems involved in trying to live polygamy, children are all too often left to grow up fatherless. And the wife is forced to be both mother and father to her huge family of small kids – a sure way to instigate misery, poverty, deprivation — and the perfect recipe for under-class living.

As mentioned before, this is what happened in my father’s case. His oldest children still at home and even his Jr-High-age children had to quit school and go to work to help support Daddy’s abandoned family. His betrayed wife Eva had to leave the home and become a minimum-wage-earner.

He had 11 children with Eva. They ranged from 23 years of age to an infant not quite two months old When Eva divorced Daddy six months after he married my mother as his plural wife.

Who was left to tend the house and babies? The older children, of course. They had to play mama to the younger ones — had to grow up too fast in order to take on the responsibilities of premature homemakers. That’s what happened! Unfortunately, all of the above is a typical scenario most broken FLDS families endure, thanks to Mormon plural-marriage doctrines.

I’m not proud of what my sister and others like her do/did. I’m sad and chagrined that my brainwashed young Mother unknowingly and unwittingly had a part in the dire loss, suffering, and hell Daddy’s first wife and children went through, quadrupled by the fact they grew up without a father — if only because Daddy’s first wife couldn’t endure the pain of abuse, betrayal, and polygamy.

Unfortunately, it was part of Mother’s fundamentalist Mormon upbringing to break up marriages and leave behind a trail of tears and destruction. Of course, these stoic masochists never consider it “breaking up marriages.” They consider it “following God’s Commandments and putting ‘doing what’s right’ above all else”– because “the more you suffer the greater your rewards in heaven.”

Bear in mind most of those brainwashed to believe in polygamy wouldn’t possibly live this lifestyle if their “profit” J. Smith hadn’t Commanded it. And if they didn’t believe their salvation depended on it, come hell or high water. (See Mormon scriptures: Revelation, 12 July 1843 [D&C 132], Page 1 – The Joseph Smith Papers

Nevertheless, Mother, though she wouldn’t admit it to herself, could never stand to have done to her what she did to others: Caught between a rock and a hard spot, she never practiced polygamy with Father — except in the first six months of marriage as Father’s plural wife before Eva divorced him.

In their following 22 years of marriage after Eva left, Mother probably always intended to practice plural marriage once more but she procrastinated so never had to further endure living this dire law with Pa.

He married Mama in around 1943 as his second wife, his attempt to have a harem in order to follow his Prophet Joseph Smith’s commandment to live polygamy or be damned. But Mama soon ended up Papa’s only wife, just as he soon ended up monogamous again.

So it bears repeating: Mama never practiced what she preached and believed. She couldn’t — especially when it came to “practicing polygamy:” She never lived Plural Marriage with Papa the twenty-two years she had him all to herself. She just talked about it.

(Continued August 9, 2018, in “Pt 21: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade”)



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pt 20-J: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade

Pt 20-J: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade

luna-l-recovering-agency
 I recommend this well-researched book authored by Ex-LDS Mormon Luna Lindsey — A super Text for anyone wishing to lift the veil of Mormon mind control.

People see what they want to see,
believe what they want to believe; 

It’s impossible to reason
with an irrational person. 

 Stephany Spencer


I left off in “Pt 20-I: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade” saying in the cult I came from, a Mormon fundamentalist man usually did not turn down a needy “woman in distress” — if she asked him to marry her. Most men usually don’t. Especially would-be Mormon White Knights in shining armor — especially if polygamy is “the law;” i.e., part of their religious tenets!

This is only one example of how the foot-washing, stoic, three-ring circus of “The Law of Celestial Marriage” works — The “BED-lam” Joe Smith and Brig Young spawned in this helluva world. I’ve coined their so-called “Celestial Law” The Lawless Law of Telestial Marriage: The orthodox Mormon law that undoes what it took civilization 2000 years to build!

It’s barbaric, deplorable, and inexcusable that any religion could teach doctrines that break up marriages, families, and civilized life — and create laws that leave the wife broken-hearted, betrayed, her home downtrodden, and her life and that of her kids smashed to smithereens.

Often, as said previously, thanks to the numerous problems involved in trying to live polygamy, children are all too often left to grow up fatherless. And the wife is forced to be both mother and father to her huge family of small kids – a sure way to instigate misery, poverty, deprivation — and the perfect recipe for under-class living.

As mentioned before, this is what happened in my father’s case. His oldest children still at home and even his Jr-High-age children had to quit school and go to work to help support Daddy’s abandoned family. His betrayed wife Eva had to leave the home and become a minimum-wage-earner.

He had 11 children with Eva. They ranged from 23 years of age to an infant not quite two months old When Eva divorced Daddy six months after he married my mother as his plural wife.

Who was left to tend the house and babies? The older children, of course. They had to play mama to the younger ones — had to grow up too fast in order to take on the responsibilities of premature homemakers. That’s what happened! Unfortunately, all of the above is a typical scenario most broken families endure, thanks to Mormon plural-marriage doctrines.

I’m not proud of what my sister and others like her do/did. I’m sad and chagrined that my brainwashed young Mother unknowingly and unwittingly had a part in the dire loss, suffering, and hell Daddy’s first wife and children went through, quadrupled by the fact they grew up without a father — if only because Daddy’s first wife couldn’t endure the pain of abuse, betrayal, and polygamy.

Unfortunately, it was part of Mother’s fundamentalist Mormon upbringing to break up marriages and leave behind a trail of tears and destruction. Of course, these stoic masochists never consider it “breaking up marriages.” They consider it “following God’s Commandments and putting ‘doing what’s right’ above all else”– because “the more you suffer the greater your rewards in heaven.”

Bear in mind most of those brainwashed to believe in polygamy wouldn’t possibly live this lifestyle if their “profit” J. Smith hadn’t Commanded it. And if they didn’t believe their salvation depended on it, come hell or high water. (See Mormon Scriptures: Revelation, 12 July 1843 [D&C 132], Page 1 – The Joseph Smith Papers

Nevertheless, Mother, though she wouldn’t admit it to herself, could never stand to have done to her what she did to others: Caught between a rock and a hard spot, she never practiced polygamy with Father — except in the first six months of marriage as Father’s plural wife before Eva divorced him.

In their following 22 years of marriage after Eva left, Mother probably always intended to practice plural marriage once more but she procrastinated so never had to further endure living this dire law with Pa.

He married Mama in around 1943 as his second wife, his attempt to have a harem in order to follow his Prophet Joseph Smith’s commandment to live polygamy or be damned. But Mama soon ended up Papa’s only wife, just as he soon ended up monogamous again.

So it bears repeating: Mama never practiced what she preached and believed. She couldn’t — especially when it came to “practicing polygamy:” She never lived Plural Marriage with Papa the twenty-two years she had him — her handsome hard-working hunk — all to herself. She just talked about it.

(Continued August 2, 2018, in “Pt 20, A-J: Polygamy on Parade”)



Pt 20-I: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade

family, all but sharon
My family in 1964 — one sister absent)

Abuse: 
“When fear rules,
Obedience is the only
survival choice.”
Toni Morrison
“God Help the Child”


My parents, though trying prodigiously to do what was right, foolishly spawned a bunch of foot-washing fundamentalist children bound by fear and preposterous, polygamy propaganda.

Example: Continuing with the expose of how one sister was affected by this Mormon fundamentalist dogma, I asked her why she dropped each “husband” — that is, those that hadn’t dropped her first. Her innocent, non-introspective response was:

“Because they didn’t treat me right, weren’t living polygamy right … and weren’t hard workers like Daddy — couldn’t compare to him. Therefore, I was smart to leave them. It taught them a lesson: They couldn’t get away with neglecting me and not supporting me and my children. And, of course, I had to choose a new man because women are supposed to have a husband as their head, their priesthood leader.”

She never could see that living polygamy “right” is wrong. Because living religious polygamy, itself, IS WRONG. It enslaves women, for starters. It’s a Satanic utopian ideal built on some male “profit’s” foolish, selfish, testosterone-based fantasy.

I say: Wake up, Sister, before another Mister makes you mother of yet another brother or sister by yet another Mister … who’s also “not like your father”!

The law of cause-and-effect screams, “If you touch a hot stove and it burns you, stop touching the damn thing! Back off!! The burn is obviously telling you you’re doing something wrong! So stop it!!”

But cult brainwashing demolishes people’s better judgment. It causes them to mistrust their own inner voice, to live in fear, and to follow their leader — their prophet, ignoring outward signs that what they’re doing is a mistake.

I call my sister’s “sleeping around” simply legalized prostitution — the ability and “right” to proposition any married or single man she wants as her next husband. What’s worse, in her brand of polygamy, the guy believes he can’t refuse! Nor does a man’s other wives usually have a say in it. What a great way to break down family life and ties, trust, and the sacredness of holy matrimony!

One way my sister courted a new mister was to simply ask him over to repair her plumbing — literally! And to sip ‘n’ sup a bit, afterward, as reward and enticement toward acquiring her latest heartthrob or male object/ husband.

I’m told it didn’t matter if the man she was chasing had a pregnant wife at home almost on the delivery table who desperately needed him by her side. Nothing mattered but living polygamy — i.e., “getting her plumbing serviced.”

An orthodox Mormon man usually did not turn down a needy “woman in distress.” Men usually don’t — especially would-be White Knights in shining armor — especially if polygamy is “the law”!

And get this: My Sis says, “I know I’m pretty. I don’t care how his other wives feel when I go after their husband. My having a husband and living plural marriage comes first.” This almost smells of sociopathy: She’s taking care of herself and “Screw the rest!” 

And why should she care about other women? In polygamy, they are her competition. It’s not supposed to be the case in that belief system, but it is because she’s human: “The other women” get in her way when it comes to happiness and having her needs fulfilled.

Or, to look at it from a social-psychological viewpoint, perhaps she never got Daddy all to herself, as a little girl. By going after another woman’s husband, she’s simply subconsciously still trying to win her Dad from her mother (“the other woman”) when she goes after another person’s “Pa.” 

Be all these conjectures what they may, the last I knew, she never caught on … never bothered to catch on how to check out, before she took on her next “husband,” whether the new hunk was going to work out — going to “treat her right” — though she married wrong! (But how do we even know she treated him right?)

Continued July 26, 2018, in “Pt 20-J: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pt 20-H: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy Parasites

 

kimbel and kociela

Listen on YouTube to my Aunt Irene (Kunz-LeBaron) Spencer’s half-sister, my aunt-in-law Rebecca Kunz Kimbel’s outstanding interview of Author Ed Kociela who wrote two excellent books I recommend: Plygs,” and “Plygs 2.”*



Till we learn from past mistakes,
we’re bound to repeat them
and pass them on to our progeny ad infinitum
in the form of bizarre institutions,
miscreant behavior,
myths, and misconceptions.
Stephany Spencer



I left off in “Pt 20-G: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy Parasites” relating that one of my nine sisters has children fathered by at least three different husbands — though her first two left her by default, thanks to polygamy, its inherent negligence, delinquency, derelictsand easy-come-easy-go plural wives.

But that still doesn’t smooth over my sister’s lifestyle choices that suffer for lack of good values, education, logical thinking — and learning from past mistakes.

As I said before, it seems she was unable to take into account the law of cause-and-effect and other down-to-earth concepts. She was too busy living for irrational up-in-the-sky concepts — too busy sacrificing for the hereafter.

I mean, anything’s okay in Mormon fundamentalism if it’s done in the name of living “The holy matrimonial law of polygamy.” It comes first and foremost — and above all else, because J. Smith said living celestial marriage was our ticket to heaven — the highest degree of glory. (See Doctrine and Covenants, Section 132 — Mormon Scriptures: Revelation, 12 July 1843 [D&C 132], Page 1 – The Joseph Smith Papers)

Out in the wicked world, people would generally consider my sister White trash; i.e., living an illiterate lifestyle where underclass people follow their whims rather than use forbearance, common sense, and rational reasoning before they make serious life-leaps. But, unfortunately, you can expect most any dastardly lifestyle and bizarre behavior when it comes to cults.

In my sister’s case, after each divorce, she continued to seek a new, attractive, already married Plyg, never seeing nor accepting polygamy would never work because it was not right! — despite what Joe Smith said!

But my Sis also kept remarrying for the usual: Love, loneliness, sex — and always thinking the next marriage would work … And because she needed financial support, help, and a father for her kids.

She kept remarrying, too, because she was brainwashed, fearful, hardheaded, not well-educated, even less well-read … and a follower, not a deep thinker. Therefore, she couldn’t see past what had been instilled in her growing up in the authoritarian theocracy of Mormon orthodoxy: “Women can only go to heaven on their husband’s coattails.”

My sister probably thought: If I don’t have a husband, how in hell can I make it to heaven?!? That is, how could she hitch a ride to heaven if she had no husband’s coattails to sail there on?!*

So, for this one of my parents’ ten girls, it was try, try, try again … and again … and again … and again … and again … and again ... ad infinitum! But never give in. Never give up trying to “Do what’s right.” If anything, the Mormon fundamentalist motto is: Do what is right — or die trying!

One wonders if she was bullheaded, dull, sociopathic, crazy, inconsiderate, horny, helpless, lonely, … or what!? Or simply a brain-dead, misled, sadomasochistic-glutton for punishment — and a foot-washing, fanatic Mormon cult member putting into practice Joe Smith and Brig Young’s commandment to “Live polygyny or be damned!”

Never mind that living religious polygyny/polygamy in the here-and-now dumps one into a hell on earth “here-and-now”!! That is, one doesn’t have to wait till “The Hereafter” to go to hell if one chooses not to live “Plural Marriage” so as to raise up lots of little kids for the glory and power of the self-proclaimed “Profit.”

But what about her kids?! How did it affect her children when their mother married and divorced so many different “daddies”? Go figure! Polygamy leads to Hell here and Hell hereafter.

According to early self-proclaimed Mormon Prophets, you are doomed to suffer eternal Hell in the hereafter if you do not live plural marriage in the here-and-now … the “Herebefore”! But then they add, “Plural marriage will damn more than it will save.” Well, you’re Damned if you do and damned if you don’t!
~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Those damned self-proclaimed “profits”
Have you by the horns in fits,
coming and going,
Turned upside down by the balls,
Strung out ‘n’ crowing!

(Continued July 21, 2018, in “Pt 20-I: Ma, Pa, Me, and Polygamy on Parade”)


*NOTE: See YouTube for super discussions between Ex-Mormon- fundamentalist-turned-Producer Rebecca Kimbel (my aunt) and Ed Kociela, outstanding Author, Journalist, and expert on Mormon fundamentalists.

 


The Following is a Spoof on Mormonism/Mormon Fundamentalism