Pt 34-A: My Mama Esther LeBaron Spencer, The Mexico LeBarons, and Hearing Voices

Pt 34: My Mama Esther LeBaron Spencer, The Mexico LeBarons, and Hearing Voices

The young and the old of my dear Grandpa Dayer LeBaron



“There is only one way to bring a child up
in the way he should go
and that is to travel that way yourself.”
Abraham Lincoln



IF it’s true Grandpa Dayer’s grandfather B.F. Johnson held a special priesthood he called “the mantle” or “Scepter of Power,” then there were delusions of grandeur, schizophrenia, and personality disorders in my great-great-grandfather, himself. But I understand that Benjamin F. Johnson’s immediate family say they never heard B.F.J. claim he held ANY such special priesthood power!

Grandpa Dayer LeBaron is said to have claimed his grandfather Benjamin F. Johnson passed on to him a special priesthood blessing and power” called “The Mantle” “that the Mormon Prophet Joseph Smith passed on to him, B.F.J., before he died.

That’s another story for another time. If you’re interested in the lore, read Mother’s/Aunt Charlotte’s/ Uncle Verlan’s revisionist histories titled “The LeBaron Story,” and “Maud’s Story.”  These two manuscripts preach a 1980’s whitewashed, enhanced, and rewritten version of the Mexico-LeBaron claims—a tale that has morphed way beyond the early Church of the Firstborn/CFB story I first heard in 1957—the year I was baptized into my uncle Joel LeBaron’s “Church.” I was eleven years old.

The point I’m getting at in this blog is BOTH Grandpa AND Grandma LeBaron had immediate relatives with personality disorders and mental illness (See previous blog, Pt 33, updated since it was published on February 22, 2019).

Says Historian Kris Wray: Benjamin F. Johnson had two brothers – Joel and Seth – whom he said in his “My Life’s Review” experienced “mania” and were “weakened in mind” at one time or another, though he stated they had “sound” minds later. If there was genetic disposition of some form of mental illness in the LeBaron and Johnson lines, which at the point of Dayer had been merged together, Dayer’s dad marrying his Johnson cousin may have magnified it. 

Add to this that BOTH my maternal grandparents heard voices, from time to time, that were “as plain as day,” to quote Grandma. And my maternal grandfather A.D. was said to be a crack pot: He led an extreme, unreasonable, unstable life due to the visions he had and the voices in his head that spoke to him, among other things.

But Grandfather Dayer ALSO showed SOME signs of borderline autistic-personality-disorder. For instance:

1- Things had to be just SO for him. He didn’t deal well with change.

https://www.additudemag.com/autism-spectrum-disorder-in-adults/

2- He “lacked tact” in dealing with people; i.e., He exhibited low empathy: Couldn’t relate well to how others felt.

3- He was hardheaded—would not compromise nor budge, when it came to his “principles,” and what was “true and right” … no matter the outcome or consequences of his sticking to what he believed was “the truth”! He Was definitely a “Fundi”!

4- He couldn’t tolerate change in beliefs and concepts: e.g, “God and the truth were the same yesterday, today, and forever!” There were no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it! Would this explain why he became a Morman fundamentalist/Fundi: He couldn’t deal with revisionist Mormonism, no matter the reasons for the doctrinal changes?

5- When he was convinced of a certain thing to do or accomplish, he worked harder at it than anybody else around. Could concentrate for long hours at a time, till the job was completed to the best of his ability—a perfectionist. Mother said he/ her father A.D. worked harder than anybody she knew!

His maladies caused him, his wives, and his children to lead an outcast, rather nomadic, Gypsy-like life due to the schizophrenic voices he heard and dreams he had telling him to first do this — then that; then something different altogether. He had a dream, for example, that he was to raise his family in Old Mexico, come hell or high water! So he did!

And no sooner would he have picked up, lock, stock, and barrel, to move to a new homestead, but what the voices might tell him he had to move and set up a new homestead somewhere else! Just one example of how his mental instability affected him and his family. I don’t know if Grandpa Dayer ever came to see how irrational, unstabilizing, and crazy-making all this was! Grandma Maud had to follow his/her husband’s lead because she believed he held the priesthood. In Mormon fundamentalism the man ruled the roost.

Grandpa A.D. LeBaron apparently raised most of his children to believe he had received a special “scepter of power” from his grandfather Benjamin F. Johnson — a mantle wherein he was set apart to do a special work to put the house of God back in order so as to prepare the world for Christ’s second coming.* [My sister who works as a nurse in a mental institution says she hears this kind of stuff daily from her patients!]

This mantle/priesthood power somehow became confused with his raising his sons to believe (so the story goes) that before he died, he would pass on to one of themwhoever showed himself most righteous—this sceptor of power—a power only given to that one mighty and strong the Prophet Joseph Smith said would come in the last days to prepare the Saints for the second coming of Christ.

As to how Mother says my grandfather says [She-says-He-says] he acquired this special “Sceptor of Power,” she told me: When my Pa was fast asleep one night, suddenly he was awakened. There was a bright light in the room. Then Papa said he felt a grip on his shoulder, looked up, and saw his dead grandfather Benjamin F. Johnson standing there surrounded in glory. (Continued in the next blog.)

*[NOTE: Mormon fundamentalists believed the LDS Mormon church had lost the keys to the kingdom and gotten out of order when it signed the Manifesto of 1890, thus doing away with polygamy, “God’s highest and most venerable law.”]

**For further understanding of this topic, check out articles online such as: Symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder in Adults/ASD Symptoms: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjKwNfv1t3gAhWStZ4KHVBvBWYQFjAAegQIChAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.additudemag.com%2Fautism-spectrum-disorder-in-adults%2F&usg=AOvVaw0tKWaAHVoNpAf1KDdbHIV6

(Continued March 15, 2019, “Pt 34-B: My Mama Esther LeBaron Spencer and Hearing Voices”)

Pt 33: My Mama Esther LeBaron Spencer and Family Incest


My maternal great-grandparents Lucinda Mariah Emmerson and William Wesley McDonald

“The heart of the mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.”
Honore De Balzac
P

Incest on my maternal grandfather Alma Dayer LeBaron’s side definitely contributed to the mental illness prevalent in most of my maternal grandparents’ ten children who lived to adulthood!

Grandfather Alma Dayer LeBaron, Sr.’s parents were first cousins: His grandfather Benjamin Franklin Johnson’s seventh wife’s daughter Sarah Jane Johnson married her paternal Aunt Esther Melita Johnson’s son Benjamin Franklin LeBaron—Benjamin Franklin Johnson’s nephew. Incest plain and simple!

The dilemma — and the reason incest is illegal: When close relatives marry, they compound bad/ recessive genes in their family tree. Says historian Kris Wray: Benjamin F. Johnson had two brothers — Joel and Seth — whom he said in his “My Life’s Review” experienced “mania” and were “weakened in mind” at one time or another, though he stated they had “sound” minds later.

In other words, there WAS genetic disposition for mental illness in the LeBaron AND Johnson lines (NOT just in my grandmother Maud McDonald’s line). Dayer’s dad marrying his Johnson first-cousin magnified it. 

Mania is a facet of type I bipolar disorder in which the mood state is abnormally heightened and accompanied by hyperactivity and a reduced need for sleep.

By contrast, hypomania (often described as “mania-light”) is a type II bipolar disorder which neither has the range nor severity of symptoms that classic mania has. (https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjKv53WyubgAhUUs54KHXqaBBkQFjACegQIBxAL&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.verywellmind.com%2Fsymptoms-of-mania-380311&usg=AOvVaw1rN1sW2GH8_ntXBJYx8aKY)

In my quest to further understand what might have caused the unusual amount of mental illness in my Mexico-LeBaron family, years ago I was told the following by my sister Judith Spencer: “Mental illness ran in the bloodlines of BOTH our Grandma Maud’s parents William Wesley McDonald and Lucinda Mariah Emmerson.

“People TOLD our grandmother’s parents, William Wesley McDonald and Lucinda Mariah Emerson, ‘DO NOT marry!! There’s ‘bad blood’ in your families!’In other words,” she said, “There was mental illness in both their family trees! For them to marry could only compound the problem. They married anyway.” * Love and libido won out!

It is now known Schizophrenia is heritable — AND SKIPS a generation to show up in the SECOND generation of children born into bloodlines where at least one of the parents has the schizophrenia/ manic-depressive/ bipolar gene.

As it turns out, in the Mexico-LeBarons’ case schizophrenia/ bipolar disease/ personality disorders not only ran in BOTH our Grandmother Maud’s parents’ family trees, but ALSO in Grandfather Dayer’s family tree. That would more than double the schizophrenic /bipolar genetics and heritability.

I do not personally know about any mental disorders that ran in my great-grandmother Lucinda Mariah Emmerson’s family line. Only that, though schizophrenia is found in all nationalities and races, Sweden and Ireland rate the highest for this disorder. Norway follows close behind. (The Scots Irish? When history’s followed back far enough, they are Irish.) 

In past decades, schizophrenia was often called “Manic Depression.” Today it is usually referred to as Bipolar Disease. “McDonald” is an Irish/ Scots Irish surname. “Emmerson” is a Swedish surname. I mention this as only one piece of the puzzle contributing to mental challenges in my beloved Mexico-LeBaron family line.

Though my grandmother Maud’s parents Wesley McDonald and Lucinda Mariah Emerson had mental illness running in their family trees (as many family trees do, I might add), out of Grandma Maud’s own immediate family of originnone of her siblings suffered notable mental illness—as far as I know. And none of Wesley and Mariah McDonald’s children exhibited any of the mental illness that existed in their father Wesley McDonald’s later years.

Grandma Maud told me about a number of occasions in her life when she’d heard a voice speak to her “plain as day.” This and other such things may have been mild signs of Schizophrenia in Gramma Maud. But I read in a book on Schizophrenia that eating green potatoes, among other things, could affect a temporary Schizophrenic disorder in at least some people. So you never know.

Case in point, however: The mental-illness gene my great-grandfather William Wesley McDonald carried DID skip a generation! That is, it didn’t show up, as far as I know, in the siblings of my grandmother Maud McDonald’s family of origin. BUT it showed up BIG-TIME in the next generation — Grandpa Dayer and Grandma Maud LeBarons’ children. Most, if not all of their living children had mental problems to one degree or another.

For example, every one of Grandpa and Grandma LeBaron’s seven living sons claimed to be, at one time or another and to one degree or another, “The one mighty and strong”/OM&S.** Some of this may have been brought on by upbringing, desires for power and profit, and other such, rather than by defective genes.

But it’s also likely they heard voices, and had revelations, dreams, and inspiration that told them they were “the one mighty and strong prophet” spoken of in Mormon Scriptures.

Grandpa and Grandma LeBaron’s creative and talented daughter Lucinda spent most of her life in a mental institution — as did their brilliant oldest son Ben. And their disturbed son Ervil went clear over the cliff—“was the spittin’ image,” said Grandmamma Maud, of her own father William Wesley McDonald who began to hear voices, get revelations, etc., in his latter years!***

Their gifted and beautiful daughter Esther (my mother) lived in a mild dream world along with other personality disorders. Example: from time to time she/ Mama had manic-depressive episodes/ bipolar symptoms — including a few “nervous breakdowns.” And she had a narcissistic personality disorder, including delusions of grandeur. Paranoia also visited Mama as well as pathological lying; i.e., she believed her own lies.

Nevertheless, many people loved, respected, and befriended my mother throughout her life. In other words, Mother’s mental issues didn’t get in the way of her relationships with most people—though they got in my way!

As a young woman, Mother once told people she was a Hollywood starlet and a Concert Pianist. In actuality, my grandma Maud saw to it her daughter Esther/my mother got piano lessons and the time to practice enough to memorize a number of beautiful Piano Concertos.

But that did not make her a Concert Pianist; i.e., she never held the prestigious position of accompanyig Philharmonic Orchestra’s as their Concert Pianst! Instead, she quit college early on to become the plural wife of an old man, baring him fourteen kids along with six miscarriages within the space of 21 years; i.e., She was a stay-at-home mom.

Mother also told people she and all her kids and husband had their “callings and elections made sure.” (That is to say, HER kids were ALL going to heaven. No question about it!!)

She told people she “knew” HER husband and HER kids were going to “the highest degree of glory” “because they, like her, were so pure and saintly — so holy they were incapable of experiencing even “evil emotions such as envy or jealousy”! (That made them perfectly cut out to live polygamy, right? However, in her 21 years of marriage, Mom was too jealous to share Pop with even ONE other concurrent wife!)

Nevertheless, I don’t believe anybody in the cult ever noticed the inconsistentcies in what she preached and what she practiced. She said her Patriarchal Blessing “said so” and they believed her. This was mostly wishful thinking, exaggeration, and delusions of grandeur. Up until I escaped the LeBaron sect she belonged to, she also told people I/moi was her most perfect and holy child!

It helped cause Ma a nervous breakdown, therefore, when at age 21 I FLED the religion she raised me in — the religion she was SO sure was the ONLY true religion — the one you HAD to believe in to go to the highest degree of glory!

Needless to say, after I fled Mother’s religion/cult, she condemned me to hell, saying I wasn’t as spiritual as she and the rest of her kids were. (She somehow always took it upon herself to be my judge! … I thought that was God’s job!)

Now, back to the subject of mental illness in the Mexico-LeBarons’ immediate family: What further caused the Mexico-LeBaron children’s mental disorders is: There was not ONLY mental illness and personality disorders in BOTH my maternal grandparent’s family trees, but BOTH Grandmother Maud AND Grandfather Dayer, THEMSELVES, talked, not infrequently, about having unusually vivid dreams, revelations, and “hearing voices” — voices that spoke to them and gave them guidance. In other words, this meant double the schizophrenic characteristics in just the Mexico-LeBaron children’s parents, alone!

I know some people are gifted with a high level of intuition, extra-sensory perception/ ESP, and so forth. The gift of inspiration/ “a still, small voice,” etc., runs in creative families like the Mexico-LeBarons. And Poets are said to be prophets. Furthermore, schizophrenia runs high in creative families. Still, Grandfather Dayer’s extra-sensory perceptions went beyond that of healthy and normal.

To sum it all up, my maternal grandparents carried outward signs of mental-illness; e.g., voices talking to them, on TOP of their inner genetic markers for mental disorders. This tally sheet quadrupled chances that at least some of their Mexico-LeBaron children would inherit mental problems—especially given there were other stressors and traumas in their life that helped kick in the recessive genes for mental illness.

*This concludes my comments. Thank you for visiting my blog!
Your feedback would be most beneficial.
Now, till next time, be of good cheer; Spring is almost here! ~ Stephany

(Continued March 3, 2019, “Pt 34-A: My Mama Esther LeBaron Spencer and Mental Illness.”)

*My sister Judith Spencer’s oldest daughter was schizophrenic/ bipolar. Because of this, Judy did much research, trying to understand the disease, how it came about, and how to deal with it. I don’t recall, now, the relatives she spoke with on my grandma Maud’s and grandpa Dayer’s family sides. But the information I related above was told to her by them.


** See The LeBaron Story, andMaud’s Story,” on Amazon.com and Kindle. Though these books were written to preach “The Church of the First Born” doctrine, they are all we have of the Mexico-LeBaron Family’s published history — about our only source, though highly biased.

*** See “Cult Insanity” and Shattered Dreams by Irene Spencer

Pt 32: My Mama Esther LeBaron Spencer, The Mexico-LeBarons, and Mental Illness

Pt 32: My Mama Esther LeBaron Spencer, the Mexico-LeBarons, and Mental Illness


three-pictures-of-ervil


“The conscience of children is formed
by the influences that surrounded them;
their notions of good and evil are the result of
the moral atmosphere they breathe.”

Jean Paul Richter



We left off last week with this assertion: People should take responsibility for their actions; not project blame onto the devil nor others for what happens to them and their children.

As we saw in the previous blogs, Grandfather Dayer and Grandmother Maud’s life and child-rearing included plenty of things that could cause mental breakdowns — though they tended to put most of the blame on the persecution and ostracism their kids suffered growing up in the Mormon colonies in Mexico. No question, that took its toll!

But Grandma told us her son Ervil was the “spittin’ image” of her own father: “Even looks exactly like ‘im!” she efused. [*1] But she only divulged this long-held secret after her son Ervil began showing severe psychotic breaks — as in intent to murder his brother Joel, et Al. 

In an afterthought, Grandma Maud added, disconcertingly, “Despite his bein’ highly gifted in art, music, teaching, and other areas, Pa broke in his older years — same as his grandson Ervil.

“But before he became mentally ill, my handsome father taught Art and Music in High School, often delivered sermons in church. And  was a much sought-after Singer, as well as a teacher of church doctrinal classes.

“Him and my ma regularly sang duets in church and elsewhere. Both had perfect pitch … could sight-sing sheet music, so they could do fine when they had no instrumental backup or a pitchpipe. They really knew their Music Theory, too. Music was very important in my home as we grew up.”

Unfortunately, that’s pretty much all Grandma would tell about her father. In fact, as I pointed out, she never, ever let anybody know about her father going off the deep end until she saw her son Ervil, “had the spirit of murder,” as she referred to it in her letters to Ervil. [*1]

Makes me wonder what else my Grandmother Maud never told us about her family of origin. What else was she hiding? For example, why would she marry my Grandfather Dayer when he was an outcast (though she says when she married him she didn’t know he was an outcast).

In the same breath, she claimed her “McDonalds of Arizona” family “were highly respected and well to do—owned a real estate office.” I only know (from personal experience) Grandma, though I love her, was a “storyteller.” [*2]

But I understand her brother Max McDonald (who was a pal of Pres. Spencer W. Kimball in his young years—they played and performed music together, among other things) was a Real Estate broker and owned his own Real Estate office.

Because being “crazy” carried such stigma and shame back in Grandmother’s day, as noted earlier, she only let us know about her own father’s mental breakdown when it became absolutely necessary to do everything in her power to get her dear son Ervil to see the error of his ways … in hopes he would not end up a “Cain.”

In the next blog, I will continue with this mental-illness thread, tying it in with incest in my Mexico-LeBaron family: Grandpa Dayer’s father Benjamin Franklin LeBaron married his first cousin Sarah Jane Johnson—daughter of his/ Benjamin Franklin LeBaron’s maternal uncle Benjamin F. Johnson’s seventh wife).[*1]  

(Continued February 22, 2019: “Pt 33: My Mama Esther LeBaron Spencer and Family incest”)


*1– See: “The LeBaron Story,” Pages 201 through 210. Also see: “Maud’s Story.” Both books are/ were available on Amazon.com and/or Kindle. Though these books were written mostly to preach The Church of the First Born dogma, they’re all we have of the Mexico-LeBaron family’s published history.

NOTE: For those questioning what I quoted Grandma saying, please check out the following Facebook statement (used without my niece Vicky LeBaron’s permission, as of yet, because I trust she won’t mind): 

2-7-2019: “I heard my grandmother — G.Grandma Maud’s, daughter Esther LeBaron Spencer — say on multiple occasions almost exactly what Steph Spencer is saying. 
I also heard one of G.G. Maud’s daughter-in-laws say the same type of comments about what Maud had told her about Ervil, in various conversations over the years:

“Basically, that mental illness ran in the McDonald family. And that she had been concerned about Ervil because of her father’s mental health struggles, and the fact that Ervil reminded her of her father more than any of her other sons. [She said] ‘He was handsome like her father.’ Or ‘He had a charismatic personality and a way with words.’ If I’m not mistaken her father was rather tall, too [like her son Ervil].

I don’t particularly think uncle Ervil looked like great-great-grandfather Wesley, either, but she may have recognized mannerisms and perhaps his walk or the way he talked etc. as being like her father. Often, I think the way my children act reminds me more of their grandparents and great grandparents, than the way they look. 
And I definitely feel like several of my children are very much like their grandparents and others don’t seem to see it.”

*2– See Cult Insanity” by Irene Spencer

~ My Notes, Quotes, Jokes, Pokes, ‘n’ Anecdotes


Bimbo Weeps:

 I’m sittin’ alone in the moonlight,
At the Heartbreak Hotel Café,
Abandoned by women and men;
And here’s all I have to say,
“I’ll never eat garlic nor onions again —
Not till my dying day —
NOT if it drives possible friendships away,
Miraculously keeping romance at bay!”

By Stephany Spencer

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man-in-bed-with-three-women

Bimbo Notes:

One’s a plenty, two’s a crowd,
Three on the sidewalk is not allowed.”
Anonymous
(But have you ever noticed in “Big Love” they might
Be doing it behind your back — or closed doors?
Step on a crack and try to keep track!)
Stephany Spencer





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Bimbo Speaketh

Please, God, don’t let me be a fruitcake this Christmas;
I don’t want to be eaten by one either!
Stephany Spencer

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dog-on-computer

Online Dating

When it comes to online dating,
If  you’re lookin’ for a mating,
The odds are good
That the goods are odd;
So “wrots of wruck” with your mate-baiting!
I won’t be holding my bag waiting.
Stephany Spencer

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&





 Longing for a Soulmate No More

I used to long for a Soulmate,
But I don’t long anymore,
‘Cause I damn well know in my core
Who’d get stuck picking up after him …
Plus a whole lot more!

For that same reason,
In my “Golden-Sage” season,

I no longer dream of Mr. Wright
Nor a shining-armored knight;
I’ve learned they’re all fairytales –
No one’s coming to save me;
For sure, no horny, hairy males!
And Stupid-Cupid least of all:
Cupid’s but Libido and Nature
Having a ball.

At long last, I’ve come to see

My soulmate’s the other half of me;
And it’s well that this should be.
So I’ll leave my fate to God,
And what will be, we’ll see!

Stephany Spencer

 

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Me, Myself, and I

Sittin’ alone in the moonlight,
I heard a lonesome cry;
It must have come from within;
There was only me, myself, and I!

Then I chanced to ask it,”Why? Why?!”
Spoke the voice in soft reply:
“’Because, wherefore, and therefore; That’s why!”
So I gathered myself up with a sigh,
To face the great by-and-by and cry,

Because, in reality, there could only be
Lonely me, myself, and I.
By Stephany Spencer
(Written at age 14)              

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Bimbo Speaks:
“Love may be blind,
but jealousy and envy sport
wide-angled telescopic vision
with binocular hindsight!”
Stephany Spencer



lady-with-the-hat

“Complacency breeds poor insight,
While envy sports telescopic sight!”
Stephany Spencer




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cartoon-dancer

Says Bimbo:
Who cares if four-inch heels
Give you bunions,
Backaches, ‘n’ achin’ feet?

What’s important is yer legs
Look long ‘n’ sleek,
And yer ankles slim ‘n’ petite!
Stephany Spencer

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cas-in-black-hat

 Bimbo Says: 

“There’s a vast amount of undeveloped territory
just below my fancy hat ‘n’ hairdo —
 right betwixt me ears two!”
Stephany Spencer

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mouse-minnnie

The Bimbo Class

My claim-to-fame is shoppin’,
‘Cause most parts of me
Are perfect ‘n’ hoppin’;

So if it’s all the same to you,
I’ll keep right on a-boppin’
In my fancy hat ’n’ updo–

Let the intellectuals study it,
If they want to —

And the undeveloped matter
Under it too!

But in “Alice, Through the Lookin’ Glass,
It didn’t matter where
The Mad Hatter had ‘er — nor ‘er class;
An’ it doesn’t matter a hair
To the hare, either, what I do
So don’t be a “hare-up-my-ass”!
(Well, did you expect better
Of the Bimbo class?!)
Stephany Spencer








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gray-hair

A Bimbo-Breakthrough:
Old age ain’t for sissies …
And neither is bein’ a woman!
 Stephany Spencer 

~ My Original Quotes, Notes, ‘n’ Anecdotes on Writing ‘n’ Creativity

me-waitress-1
Stephany Spencer, age 20, taken off guard

Hi! I am Stephany Spencer, Poet, Lyricist, Memoirist, and Musician — a professional Jackalinof-many-trades. And a retired teacher on her endless summer. Welcome to my own little corner of the world-wide-web! 

As we speak, my fledgling Website continues to grow as I continue to develop the skills of a Webmaster, Blogger, and Photoblogger.
 It’s work so fun, I doubt it will ever be done!
For I do love the creative process —

The “one-on-one.”
I’m thrilled to share it with you here on my very own little online block of the globe:
My valuable virtual acre of Internet real estate! 

I’m looking forward to connecting with you. Till then, feel free to click around and scroll down on this blog site, and also on my Menu Bar, to become acquainted with my Website. It was lovely chatting with you. If you are a follower of my blogs, that’s even lovelier!

Till next time, then, be well and cheers!
Your Host,
Stephany Spencer

PS: Please note:
Ever a Creative, the world is my oyster
and I a pearl forming within her.
Life is my canvas on which I purposely
paint and spin with gusto,
All the while it takes me along to
new dimensions — then hopefully on
to her “pearly” gates and within!

 I have learned: “If you rest, you rust” —
You either live or die.
Bob Dylan so aptly reminds us
of this in his lyric line
borrowed from the late great
singer-songwriter, 
Woodie Guthrie:
 “If you aren’t busy livin’, you’re busy dyin’.”

And So here’s to life!
I’m tryin,’ yes, I am —
And though I ain’t thru cryin’,
“L’ Chaim,” and cheers, 
~Stephany Spencer

PS: On another note,
I am the proud progeny of
a long list of writers and poets:

I’ve inherited a bit of their giftedness
for writing verse, for better or worse.

This is my double-edged sword:
A gift and a curse.

But Life goes on, comes and is gone …
Sail On,” says my California Writers Club emblem.
 Now if you look closely, you may see me sailing on,

“Writing” “write” now on a song!
So “write on”!

Dwell in possibilities,”
said Emily Dickinson.

These possibilities are all that
keep me from falling off
As I get along!
Stephany Spencer





writing-man-with-pen-etc

  Ode to The California Writers Club

The California Writers Club is our oyster, 
And we writers the pearls being polished within her.
Stephany Spencer  2016 

pearl in oyster

 2016 marked the 30th anniversary of CWC-SFV,
Wherein the California Writers Club has been our oyster,

 And we members pearls growing within her;
 Daily being polished till we sparkle and shimmer
With illustrious word pearls that glimmer ‘n’ glitter
“Write on” to vocabulary perfection.

Stephany Spencer 2016



 

Advice for Creatives:
Dare to fail or fail to dare!
 That is, take it on a dare:
Dare to fail to do well.
For you must first dare to fail,
 Or you’ll never discover
If you can do anything well!
Stephany Spencer 




floral-background-vintage

Advice for Creatives:
To do well, first dare to fail —
or fail to dare do anything well!

Buoyed when Pressfield encouraged creative works,
My own creativity now no longer shirks;
I’ve ceased hiding my light beneath lampshades;
Because today I dare call spades, spades;
I’m beginning to finally face my muse
And my own creative juices use.

‘Tis said one must “paint badly” to paint well;
Or dare to “write badly” to tell a tale;
Where our creative works will lead,
If we but follow our beckoning heed,
We never can know nor can we tell;
All we can do is dare to fail,
In order to find out if we can do well.

In other words, we must start somewhere
Our powers of creativity to share and wield —
Resist resistance,” stresses Steven Pressfield,
In his inspired work, The War of Art;
If we don’t dare fail, we’ll never start,
Never write the book of our heart;
Never let genius do its part.

So dare to break through the blocks:
Whenever your amazing muse knocks,
Win your inner creative battles
By daring to fail to ever do well;
The final outcome time only can tell.
But it’s worth the effort to give your gifts,
For you discover and fulfill yourself as well,
When you create art and tell your tale.
Stephany Spencer 2016






       dog-on-computer

1-  “Point Blank:”
 The point at which all thought leaves the frontal lobe
and one comes face to face with writer’s block.

(Author unknown — Dan Pointer?)




2-  “Point Blank:”
The point at which one’s pen comes face to face with
an empty frontal lobe shot through by the bullet of writers’ block.

(Stephany Spencer)





 

Most creatives who’ve achieved monumental fame
First had to master their dynamic domain.
Stephany Spencer

A song is nothing but a poem set to music.
Stephany Spencer






writing-pad-and-desk

~  I was sixty before my dormant creativity
Picked itself up from the doormat
Where it pretty much played a passive act …
For forty years, to be exact.
( Stephany Spencer)






spiderweb-in-blue

~  I was sixty before my dormant creativity
Picked herself up from the doormat,
Dusted herself off and began to shine —
After having lain there for forty years
Collecting the dust and cobwebs of time.
Hallelujah!! Now I no longer need
an X-Ray Machine my muse to find!

( Stephany Spencer)





nice-spiderweb


~  My creativity lay hibernating thirty years
In the dusty cobwebs of time,
Before it picked itself up and came back out
Into the light of day to shine;
Now I no longer need a flashlight
my amusing muse to find!

( Stephany Spencer)






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“Think in terms of possibilities.”
(Emily Dickinson)






 

This quote I wrote — I wrote this quote:

Yesterday’s sorrow is the humor of tomorrow;
In other words: Today’s sorrow is grist 
For the humor mills of tomorrow.

Please Note: I wrote each quote; 
Though the concept has been around a long time,
‘Twas moi who put it to rhythm and rhyme.
(Stephany Spencer)




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Innovation
The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas

as in escaping from old ones.
~ J M Keynes

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 feet-and-sandals

“Long Fellows”

I’m a poet and I know it,
But my feet don’t show it:
They’re not “Longfellow’s;”
They’re “short fellows“!
(Stephany Spencer)


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My Poem: Tony Robbin Tips: “Emote the Emotion”

girl-in-flowers
“Emote the Emotion”

Emote the emotion,
Over-and-over, 
You want to feel,
Says Tony Robbins,

“Modern Guru Pill.”


You can change your “emotion,” 
By changing your “motion.”
You’re at the wheel.


In other words:
Change physiology,
Change unwanted emotions —
It’s a done deal!

 Stand tall and proud
When you’re afraid,
Whistle a tune that’ll aid;

Turn your frown upside down

When you’re feeling sad —
To soon be feeling glad.

Change your thoughts,
Change your mood;
Sit erect: You’ll feel good.

Good things in

Equals good things out
Of your magic “computer” spout —


Now that’s my “Tips from Anthony.”
Care to have a “shrink”
With me?

My Poem: “Advice for Creatives”

DARE

floral-background-vintage

 To dare present your creative works
to the world
And see your artistic creations unfurled,
You must start by daring:
Daring to fail
And daring to do well,
Or fail to dare do anything well;
Daring to fail is part of daring to do well.

Buoyed when Author Steven Pressfield
Encouraged creative works,
My creativity now no longer shirks;
I’ve ceased hiding my light beneath lampshades;
Today I daringly call spades, spades —
I’m beginning to finally face my muse,
And my creative juices use.

We must “paint badly” to paint well,
And dare to “write badly” to tell our tale;
Where our creative works then lead,
Should we follow the muse’s heed,
Artistic natures never can tell;
We can only face our fears and dare to fail,
In order to discover if we can ever do well.

But if creativity we are to wield
We must “Resist Resistance,”
Stresses Steven Pressfield
In his work, The War of Art.
That is, Creatives must somewhere start 
In order to their creative gifts impart.

If they don’t dare fail, they’ll never start …
Never survive the writers-block dart …
Never write the book of their heart;
Never do their creative part.

So dare to break through artists’ blocks
Whenever your amazing muse knocks.
To win your inner creative battles,
You must do it on a dare: Dare to fail …
Or you’ll never find if you can ever do well.

Daring creates an artistic outpour;
Time only can tell what’s next at your door;
But it’s worth the effort to face “Resistance”
And give your gifts, despite its insistence,
Because you discover and fulfill yourself,
And countless others as well,
When you create your art
And tell your tale!

By Stephany Spencer, C 2016

My Original Sayings and Short Poems: From My Pen to Yours

~ Original Sayings ‘n’ Short Poems From My Pen to Yours

poetry-plaque

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mouse-mini-in-bow-and-heels

I Think Mice Are Very Nice

I think mice are very nice.
Some people say they have lice,
And leave mouse tracks in their rice.
With pet mice that’s quite rare,
So therefore I declare,
I still think mice are very nice!
Stephany Spencer
(My first poem, age 8)


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 This quote I wrote — I wrote this quote:

Yesterday’s sorrow is the humor of tomorrow.
That is, today’s sorrow is grist
For humor mills of tomorrow.

NOTE: I wrote the quote:
Though the concept’s
Been around a long time,
‘Twas moi who put it
To rhythm and rhyme.
Stephany Spencer


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birds-on-plaques

~WORDS OF ADVICE:~

Threadbare Underwear

Since we were dormouse poor,
I preferred to live by the following adage,

(To not be caught with threadbare
“Holy” towels and underwear
When unexpected guests were there):

Use the worst first,
‘Lest the best be gone
Before the guest!
 Beulah Stephany Spencer,
(age 12)

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feet-and-sandals

“Long Fellows”

I’m a poet and I know it,
But my feet don’t show it:
They’re not “Longfellow’s”—
They be short “Fellows.”
(Stephany Spencer )

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grindstone-and-wagon-wheel

The Old Grind

   I’ve kept my head to the grindstone
And my shoulder to the wheel;
It was the only way I knew
To grind out a good deal.
(Stephany Spencer 2013)

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pigs

The “Butt” of a Joke

His butt’s as broad as a “Broad’s” or “Bitch’s,”
But flat as the broadside of a brown barn in britches!
Is this “butt” but a yarn in stitches?
Sure not sure which it is!
(Stephany Spencer  2016)


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two-hands-and-heart-shape

Anecdote Quote

Find love before it’s too late,
Always good advice to take,

For the older you get
And the longer you wait,
The harder it gets to find a good mate.

(Stephany Spencer)

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bridge-over-water

   Go Thru It to Get Thru It

          They say I have to go through it to get through it — 
Go back over my past and go through all that shit again
Till I’m through it — through with it.

So the only way out is through it, then;
And we must do it over again and again
Till we get it. And then we can move on.
Get it?  Got it!  Then move on!   :)~
(Stephany Spencer)


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prophet-of-evil-dvd

Sociopathy

Watch out for people who offer
“A shoulder to hold ‘er,
Or cry on!
Or who promise the sky;
Then lie on and on —
As they let it fall on you;
For one in ten people
is a Con — a sociopath,
Says the author of the book,

The Sociopath Next Door,”
Authored by 
Martha Stout.
(You may want to check it out!)
(Stephany Spencer)

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alps-of-switzerland

Follow Your Own Higher Power

Fanatics say, “Don’t think you’re a big shot
‘Cause you’re not. You’re likely a big snot!”
“And don’t get out of line!” They say:
“Toe the line;”
“That is, serve the Divine!”
But I say, use your own brain;

Follow your own Higher Power’s line.
That’s the reason God gave you a mind.
(Stephany Spencer)


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woman-on-the-loveseat

None of Our Business

What I think of myself is none of your business.
And what you think of me is none of mine!
Said another Way: What I thinketh of me is none of thine;
And what thou thinketh of me is none of mine.
(Stephany Spencer)


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images-2

Stinky Propositions

They fit hand-in-glove, those in iniquity —
The power-mongers and their brown-nosers
Rooting for perks, power, and popularity.
I’ll do anything to make it!
Even stoop ‘n’ take it,” says he —

I’d let him make it in my ass,”
Says gay Joe Krass, the “wannabe” —

Anything to be in a movie!”
It’s a stinkin’ proposition, if you ask me!

(Stephany Spencer)


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Age-ing = Sage-ing”

man-from-1700s

The Edge of Age: Forever young

The “edge of age” is always cutting
Into my funny bone, my joy, and “amore,” anymore.
As I “sage,” I find it hurts to be laughed at,
Spat upon, left out, left to die,
or looked down upon,

As though old age were a catching sore:
Verily, ostracization hurts to the core!

Yet, oldsters are the butt of comedians’ jokes and fun,
Because we find old-foggie puns funny when we’re young.
But now I find such humor is unkind — way overdone.
“Old folks!” you say? Listen:
We oldsters are still human, still someone!

Everyone is aging from the moment begun!
It won’t be long before you, too,
hit the wall on the run,

Then discover, like us “sagers,”
One’s soul is forever young.

(Stephany Spencer)



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11116395355_b1149a1f49_k-jpgflower-rainbow

Doctors and Hospitals:



 “““““““““““““““““““““““

    
dr

Doctors: Free-wheeling Racketeers

Without an ombudsman to accompany me,
 Doctors can be freewheeling racketeers, I see –-

Free to wheel their rackets however they please,
Unresponsive to their patients’ pleads;
Especially when there’s no witness to back them up,
Doc’s ‘n’ dentist have no fears: Their peer-policies
Assure no corrections by their peers!
Complete power corrupts completely,
So they’re Rollin’ in high gears!
Therefore, I can be an impatient inpatient,
Laden with fears!
(Stephany Spencer)


upset-14-year-old

   
I’m an impatient inpatient!

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airplane-takeoff

……………………………………..

Let’s “Take Off” the Weight:
“Butt” Wait! There’s more:
food-on-plates

  Party Pounds

Party PoundsParty Potluck Dinners.
So if you would be thinner,

Avoid the party-potluck-dinner!   :)~
(Stephany Spencer)


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asparagus-and-berries

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From Lips to Hips

They say,”A moment on the lips,
Forever on the hips!”
I say: “Food’s a moment in the mouth,

“Butt” sits forever down south!”
(Stephany Spencer)


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exercise

Work It Out

 Work it out to get it out — again and again.
 That is, to be healthier, you must
work out the anger and the pain

That’s been stored up in your body again and again —
That is to say, stored up time after time;
Therefore, you must work it out time and again.
( Stephany Spencer)



Men and Romance: My Romance with Chance …  A Chance Romance
banjo

        In Love with a Womanizer

 Being fit into his schedule,
As fits his playing ’round,
Leaves me unfit to get around downtown,
‘Cause I’m tied up in stitches and fits
Over a womanizing brown 
clown
Whose misdeeds incessantly get me down.
(Stephany Spencer)


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