Ponderin’ ‘n Wanderin’:
A Conversation with Self

At seventy-one I’m hung
By protruding nails
On my ladder’s last rung,
Wonderin’ what else I might’ve won.
Should I try for more 
Before Life’s done?

Or should I commit to recreation,
Cease ambition and aspiration,
Cease trying to make more of myself,
Simplify life, put struggle on the shelf?
Thus I wonder as I ponder ‘n wander.

But I can’t have everything,
Despite the American dream,
Where successful woman 
Gets promotion to top floor.
Yet Positivists swear 
Positive thinking opens any door!

Well let’s get real!
I could try till I die,
Think positive till I fry,
But still be only sure 
Of Taxes, “the Pill,” 
And writing my last Will
Before I say goodbye.

Yet Hope springs eternal …
She waits up ahead.
As the sun sets overhead,
I ponder ‘n wander,
Still wending my way up the hill …
When suddenly I change my stead,
Change my thoughts,
Change my mood, 
Become positive instead.

So treasuring Earth’s pleasures
Extending beyond measures 
In an amazing marvelous spread,
I recall what Woody Guthrie said:
If we’re not busy livin’
We’re busy dyin.’

Choosing not to be dead,
I get back in the saddle again
And move on ahead.
Then bury my worries
As though they were dead.

I won’t sweat the small things,
For as it’s been said,
All things are small things,
It’s all in our head …
Only fools would walk 
Where angels won’t tread.

Note:
The following is my first version of the above poem:

Ponderin’ ‘n’ Wonderin’–
A Conversation with Self

At seventy-one I’m hung
On my ladder’s last rung,
With its many steps
And protruding doornails
Of a door half hung
Wonderin’ what more
In life I could’ve won.
And why still try
To do something BIG
Before I’m done?

Shouldn’t I presently
Commit to just having fun –
Cease creating toil
Strife ‘n’ Sturm …
Cease making a mad dash –
My last dash
To make more of myself …
Wouldn’t I be better off
Putting struggle on the shelf?

Sure I ponder,
I may still achieve anything
I’m willing to sacrifice for.
But I can’t have everything –
The apple-pie metaphor,
American dream,
And gorgeous guy nextdoor …
Though Positivists say
We can have everything our way!
And even more!

Great! Really? I reply.
Let’s get real.
Though I try till I die,
Exerting effort till I fry,
I’m only sure of old age,
Death, Taxes, “the pill” –
And drawing up my final Will.

Yet Hope springs eternal
On up ahead.
It lies in wait  
As I tumble in bed.

While the sun sets overhead,
I continue to ponder …
And wander …
Wending my way up the hill …

Till suddenly I choose
Pensive thoughts to kill.
Then taking charge,
I get out of my head …
Change my thoughts,
Change my will,
Change my stead.

And choose to be happy
And in the moment instead,
Making all that’s positive
And pleasant my Med.

So I treasure the wonders,
And preserve the pleasures …
Nature’s bounteous blessings
Extending beyond measures
In amazing wondrous spread.

“If we’re not busy livin’
We’re busy dyin’,“
Guthrie then Dylan said.
Thus I’m back in the saddle again
Movin’ full speed ahead.
I’ve buried my worries
As though they were dead.

I won’t sweat the small things
For as it’s been said
All things are small things –
It’s all in our head.
Only fools walk
Where angels won’t tread.