Bio Ballad in Verse for Better or Worse
by Stephany Spencer-LeBaron

I was born some time ago
Away out in the sticks
In Mexico’s Rocky Mountain Range
In 1946.

Then raised in Mormon Fundy cults
Where self-righteous hicks
Think it sinful
With the world to mix.

Like egotistical fools
In fanatic backwoods schools,
We thought ourselves
God’s holy handful –
His Saints and Chosen People.

But we were backward bigots,
Extremists and hypocrites;
Fanatics full of ignorance,
False pride and narcissism,
We fed on fear,
Self-denial and masochism.

One can lead a horse to water
But can’t make it think.
Same goes for blind followers
Being led to Hell’s brink.

If they can’t lift their blinders,
And use their God-given head,
They’re not people –
Brainwashed sheeple instead.

That said,
In six years Ma’d born
Seven girls in a row.
When we went walking down the street,
My what a show!

By the time I was eleven,
She’d born kid number eleven!
Plygs believe birth control
Will keep them from heaven.

By the time I turned fourteen,
We were siblings twelve.
For everything I ever got
I had to dig and delve.

When I turned twenty,
Nearly fit to go under,
Synchronicity’s Serendipity
Wrought a miraculous wonder!

Big bolts of thunder
Suddenly tossed me asunder
Into the wicked world.
There a new life unfurled!

Now on the outside looking in
At those “Saints” knee-deep in sin,
I gaze at them and grin,
Thanking God He helped me win
A chance to begin again:

On hearing my cries
To self-actualize,
He gave me my own voice,
Freedom of choice,
And Liberty I realize!

I’m blessed I escaped that cult
And left the hell behind
To join the wicked world,
A better life to find.

Every year’s been better
Since I fled that bitter bind.
I’ve found in this wide world
A more compassionate kind;
People better-educated,
Charitable and refined.

So thanks wonderful world.
How you shine!
Thanks for your excellence
New friends of mine.
God bless you all
Kind Humankind!

Bio Ballad of a Cult Survivor:
My Bio in Verse
For Better or Worse

Bio Ballad of a Cult Survivor:
My Bio in Verse for Better or Worse
(Lyrics and music by Stephany Spencer-LeBaron)

1- I was born some time ago,
Away out in the sticks,
In a Mormon cult in Mexico
In nineteen forty-six.

By the time I was eleven,
We were a family of twelve;
For everything I ever got
I had to dig and delve.

Dig and delve?
Yes, dig and delve!
For everything I ever got,
I had to dig and delve.

2- We hid among the hicks,
Created toys out of sticks,
But thought we were the best –
God’s blest zygotics.

‘Twas the only life I knew,
All the while I grew;
To pass God’s tests
Was what we were here to do.

CHORUS:
Oh, a hick,
A dad-gum polygamist hick!
Born into a cult
“Plyg!” the ultimate insult.

But how was I to know
Someday I would grow
And leave it all behind,
This miserable life of woe.

Life of woe
Oh misery and woe!
So I left it all behind
Let the fandom go.

3- A masochistic life
We all did sow
It was the only world
I would ever know.

Till one day I did find
These people were blind
And sniffing after
Some false Profit’s behind!

5- So I fled that Fundy faith
Left rigidity behind
Into the world I went
A whole new life to find.

I settled in LA
And found a better way
And now I am a Graduate
Of UCLA.

6- When I fled that stoic sect
Didn’t know what to expect
Times were Herculean
Money hard to get.

But I kept pressing on
Though progress was slow
‘Twas better than I got
In Old Mexico.

7- Now here I am today
Living a better way
Than the previous life
I had to obey.

I’m grateful for each day
And the good USA
You’ve come a long way Babe
I sure can say.

I’m a cult survivor
Up from down under
A flourishing thriver
Life now my wonder!

 Pretty City Chic

Dearest friends and fans,
Please note:
This tongue-in-cheek
Song I wrote 
Isn’t finished
So I don’t gloat,
But pray my poem 
Won’t get your goat.

It’s late – Blog due mañana;
Check my song later on … uh 
You’ll find it “re-wrote.”
Needs work is my last quote.
But please enjoy what I wrote.
Now I humorously emote:

Hey! I’m a Hack
Who’s written this hit
Called Pretty City Chic–
A Hee-ha Comedy Song –
A bit o’ Bio in Verse,
For Better or Worse,
With Truth ‘n’ Exaggeration
Interspersed:

They call me “Pretty City Chic.”
But Hillbilly music is my shtick.
My Hillbilly ways are here to stick.
So you may as well git over it,
Join in ’n’ sing a bit
With Pretty City Chic.

Born in Mexican sticks
In 1946,
I’ve dual citizenship;
To add to my mix,
Folk and Classical music
Are among my shticks.

I’m an all-American-mongrel,
Apple-pie girl –
A Hines-57 mixed-up mutt
With apple pie stickin’ to my gut –
But Red-necked reactionaries ain’t my thing.
I’m here for music and to sing!

Yeah, I’m an All-American-Mexican,
Scotch-Irish “Mick,”
With Welch ’n’ English,
So sure I’m a Brit …
Plus Norwegian, Swedish,
Danish, and Dutch;
French, German, Belgium,
Mohawk Indian and such.

If there’s no Tom Slick
Hidin’ in the pit,
Far as I know,
That’s about it.
Well that‘s my story
And I’m stickin’ to it!

Pa was a Veteran of World War I.
Those Vets were well-appreciated
For what they’d done!
He was an Artist, Creative –
Jack-of-all-trades;
Master of a few —
Good at many things …
What couldn’t he do?

Ma was a Creative too,
Artist thru ’n’ thru –
Poet, Pianist, Painter … whew!
Loved talking religion,
Old or new,
Long as it agreed
With what she already “knew.”

She graduated with a BA
In Journalism too –
Quite an accomplishment
For Ma was sixty-two!

She ran me competition
For I was still in College too.
Ma’s motto was:
“Anything you can do,
I can do better;
I can do anything better than you!”
And she meant it too!

Refrain:
They call me Pretty City Chic,
But Hillbilly music is my shtick;
My Hillbilly ways are here to stick!
So you may as well git over it
And join in ‘n’ sing a bit
With Pretty City Chic.

Shit-kickin’ music is my shtick.
Well, that’s my story
And I’m shtickin’ to it:
I’m Pretty City Chic!

By Stephany Spencer-LeBaron

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NOTE: The following is an iPhone video of me on March 2017– age 71– performing at the California Writers Club the above song I wrote“Pretty City Chic”… before I “re-writ” some of it: